Emotional spousal abuse can quickly ruin your marriage and your self-esteem. Name calling and threatening behavior may not leave physical scars, but such emotional abuse, also called domestic abuse, can cause long-lasting, traumatic mental scars, according to the National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence. Understanding the signs of emotional abuse can help you determine whether you are a victim.
Identification
Emotional abusers use verbal abuse, intimidation, controlling behavior and isolation to chip away at their spouses' feelings of self-worth and independence, reports HelpGuide.org. Your abuser may call you names, insult you, yell at you, blame you for everything that goes wrong and threaten you. Emotional abusers may also destroy your possessions, and attempt to control you by limiting your access to money, preventing you from seeing friends and family members, and prohibiting you from working.
Victims
Anyone can become a victim of emotional spousal abuse, but victims may share some common characteristics, according to the National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence. Emotional abuse victims may be financially dependent on their spouses, may have low self-esteem, may believe that is important to keep the family together for the sake of the children, or may lack job skills that would enable them to support themselves.
Abusers
Emotional abusers are adept at manipulating and controlling their victims. Abusers may manage to control themselves until no one else is around to witness the abuse. Because abusers can control their behavior, they may be able to act perfectly reasonable around police or other people the abuse victim contacts for help.
Growing up in a violent home, either as a witness or victim, can increase the chances that a person will become an emotionally abusive spouse. Abusers may also have low self-esteem and may be jealous of their spouses' relationships with other people. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reports that abusers often have a problem with drugs or alcohol, although abuse seldom stops when alcohol or drug use does.
Abuse Cycle
After an outburst or attempt at manipulation, an abusive spouse may feel guilty and apologize. HelpGuide.org reports that the abuser may worry about getting caught at this point, and may create excuses that place the blame for the abuse on you. While your spouse may behave normally for a short period of time following an abusive episode, he may soon start planning his next attack and creating justifications for his planned behavior.
Considerations
Females also emotionally abuse their spouses, although men may be more reluctant to mention the abuse, out of fear of embarrassment. The National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence reports that while females do abuse males, the number of these cases is extremely small when compared to the number of women who are abused by men.
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