An interpersonal conflict is an expressed struggle between two or more individuals whose goals are incompatible, who each desire a limited resource or who are interfering with one another's attempts to attain their goals, according to Sacramento State University. Achieving a positive outcome is challenging, and unfortunately most people do not have the skills to resolve conflicts effectively. However, there are methods to help people manage interpersonal conflicts. These can help people find resolutions that satisfy all parties and preserve their relationships.
Elements of Conflict
The style or approach to a conflict often determines whether the outcome will be positive or negative. Unfortunately, when most people are confronted with the possibility of conflict, they ignore one or more of the elements involved, which could lead to a negative outcome. The elements involved in interpersonal conflict include: each party's feelings, attitudes and goals; the context of the conflict, including the physical location, the atmosphere and the time allowed for resolving the conflict; and the issue or the problem that caused the conflict. Reaching a positive resolution almost always involves addressing all elements of the conflict, which addresses the needs of all parties.
Phases
There are five phases involved in an interpersonal conflict, according to the United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific. The first phase involves the emergence of the conflict. The second phase is the awareness of the conflict, which can manifest as expressions of frustration and hostility. The third phase involves each party coping by using conflict management strategies. The fourth stage involves the parties managing their behavior toward each other. The fifth phase deals with the resolution, which can be positive or negative.
Considerations
When approaching a conflict, the parties involved should think about the many factors that can contribute to a conflict, including gender, spiritual affiliation, age, economic class, country of origin, ethnicity and sexual orientation. Awareness of these issues can help the parties employ empathy skills to anticipate how communication could be perceived by the other party. They should also consider that perception may generate a conflict where none exists in reality. For example, an adolescent girl thinks her mother is showing favoritism to her brother because she bought him an expensive gift. When she confronts her mother she learns that his gift was not as valuable as she initially thought, and the conflict she perceived does not exist.
Conflict Management Strategies
A conflict management strategy should be based on the level of importance of the issue at hand. For example, if an important value is at stake in the conflict, experts recommend that the parties collaborate to find a solution. If one of the parties should experience an absolute loss, it would be difficult to deal with, and the entire relationship would be damaged. If the conflict involves moderately important issues, experts recommend a compromise to resolve the conflict. With compromise, the resolution does not satisfy either parties' demands completely, but there are no significant losses, and relationships are preserved. Lastly, if the issue causing the conflict is relatively unimportant, an accommodating strategy, in which one party gives in to the demands of the other party, works best because no significant loss is involved, according to Wright State University.
Warning
People must consider their attitudes when approaching a conflict. If they have negative attitudes, it will almost always lead to a negative outcome, according to the United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific. Destructive attitudes and behaviors to avoid include: Seeing the other person involved as the problem and blaming and attacking him; using unclear, indirect and disrespectful language, thereby increasing obstacles to a resolution; disregarding the initial cause of the conflict and arguing about different problems; becoming intolerant of each other's points of view; and using uncompromising language when discussing ideas and attitudes.
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