How to Combine Holiday Traditions

Overview

Combining holiday traditions is both a joy and a challenge. One one hand, you get to enjoy new traditions with people you love. On the other hand, you have to give up a part of your own holiday tradition. By focusing on the positive, honoring both sets of traditions and looking for opportunities to learn and grow, you can create a brand new holiday and a good base for your family's new shared history.

Step 1

Be flexible. According to Ron L. Deal, author of "The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family" you have to accept that you may never be able to make everyone happy all the time. Bringing two holiday traditions together means that that your regular holiday celebration has to change. That's the very nature of things. But rather than focus on what you're losing, help your family shift their focus to what their gaining. Make it a joy and a privilege that each side is including the other.

Step 2

Talk to the children. Holiday traditions you might be worried about preserving may not be the same ones your children are interested in keeping. Ask each member of the family, child and adult, to choose their favorite holiday tradition and plan from there. It may be completely possible to appease everyone.

Step 3

Accept that a little separateness is okay. This is especially true in cases of families with mixed religious beliefs or families with lots of step children. If one half of your family wants to attend Catholic mass while the other wants to have their traditional dinner at their aunt's house, it doesn't mean the family isn't celebrating together. Use these opportunities as bonding experiences and count on them as something special you share with a few members rather than all members of your family.

Step 4

Create new, group traditions to go alongside your old family traditions. Dawn Miller, author of "Creating Stepfamily Holiday Traditions" recommends choosing an activity the whole family can enjoy to build a sense of shared history. This helps shift the focus from "how things were" to "how they are."

Step 5

Learn from losses and disappointments. According to Deal, when someone in the family is upset about the new traditions, it's a great learning opportunity to emphasize sacrifice and the importance of the family. It's also a great time to reinforce the true meaning of the holidays.