When conflict occurs, values, opinions, experiences and agendas are not shared or understood, causing tension to arise. This leads to the opportunity to either work through the conflict to relieve tension or defend the differences and create greater conflict. Addressing conflict within ourselves and with others gives us the opportunity for growth and resolution.
Types of Conflict
Conflict can occur between two or more entities such as countries, religious groups or a couple. Conflict can also exist within one entity such as within a school system or within a person's thoughts and feelings.
The Benefits of Conflict
Many people are what is called "conflict-avoidant." This means that they compromise to avoid the conflict that often leads to immediate relief but not resolution or growth. Experiencing conflict can motivate. Without conflict, we might not have any drive to eat, work, exercise or seek out relationships. Conflict inspires examination of present states and presents an opportunity for growth and change.
Types
A person feels conflict toward another person or group when she feels ashamed, angry, guilty, misunderstood or any combination of these feelings. Any emotional experience can produce conflict. Unconsciously, our psychological defenses respond to these conflicts, often protecting us and at other times creating psychopathological symptoms that would be considered a secondary emotional experience. For example, you love someone but they hurt you so you become angry. What do you do to respond?
The Role of Action and Conflict
Forgiveness is an action. It is associated with a religious stance on how one might take action with conflict, according to an article from George Mason University's Center for World Religions, Diplomacy and Conflict Resolution. Forgiveness should be used with thought and consideration so it is not misused as avoiding conflict. Empathy is another action one might employ when addressing conflict, according to a class on conflict theory taught at California State University, Northridge. Empathy makes way for greater understanding and allows the individual to feel she has been heard, thus decreasing the emotional responses and defenses when in a state of conflict. Forgiveness and empathy cannot occur without communication, which is the most important action when addressing conflict.
The Role of Communication and Conflict
People take three stances or paths in communication as they approach conflict: passive, aggressive and assertive communication. The goal is assertive communication. This is the stance that "we can both win" in this conflict. Point Park University includes this notion in lesson plans for children as young as 9 years old, supporting the dynamic of acknowledging what others say and taking turns in expressing conflict. Often times seeking a neutral third party is helpful to navigate through more difficult conversations. The point is, keep talking and keep listening.
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