Listening is the most frequently used communication skill, but many of us are poor listeners. We lose interest, we concentrate on the speaker's appearance instead of his words and our thoughts tend to drift simply because we can think faster than people speak. According to the University of Missouri, it takes 25 percent of our mental capacity to hear what someone is saying, leaving the other 75 percent to wander wherever it wants. However, discipline and active engagement in the conversation can significantly improve your listening skills.
Focus
Pay attention to your speaker. Make eye contact with him and let him know you are listening by nodding or agreeing. However, even if you are making eye contact and nodding, it is still quite easy for your mind to wander. Concentrate on the speaker's word and anticipate his next statement. Ask yourself why he would say that or why he did not say what you were expecting. Watch his body language for a better clue of his true feelings.
Remove Distractions
Close any books and remove any work from your desk when listening to a lecture. Do not use your computer to take notes during a lecture or meeting, as it is too easy to distract yourself with email or other work. Ask others around you to cease conversation, or ask your speaker to move to a quieter environment if possible.
Summarize
When listening in a lecture or group meeting, summarize what the speaker has just said. This will not only strengthen your understanding of the subject, but will also improve your memory of the lecture and keep you from getting distracted by outside stimuli.
Take Notes
If you have questions or comments that need to be addressed, simply make a note of them and bring them up when appropriate. Taking notes will also improve your listening skills as it physically forces you to listen.
Respond When Appropriate
Save your questions or comments for when the speaker is done talking. The speaker may inadvertently address any concerns you may have had or answer your question later in the lecture. Interrupting is not only rude, but also proves that you are not willing to listen fully. Avoid forming any opinion of the speaker until you have listened to his entire statement. Jumping to conclusions will only distract you from the speaker's message. Responding once the speaker has finished talking allows you to ask better questions or make stronger comments without wasting the speaker's time.
Ask Questions
It is important that you do respond. This lets the speaker know that you listened to what he had to say and you either understand or want to know more. Asking questions shows the speaker that you are interested in what he has to say and are all ears.
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