Babies are love incarnate, and few things in life fetch as much joy for a couple. When infertility complications arise, couples have several options available to realize their desire for family, including surrogacy. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, or ASRM, surrogacy refers to both traditional and gestational. In traditional surrogacy procedures, only the father of the infertile couple has a biological link to his baby --- the surrogate is the biological mother of the embryo she carries to term, not his partner. In gestational surrogacy arrangements, both the egg and the sperm from the infertile couple grow inside the surrogate mother, who has no genetic connection to the baby. Legally, says the ASRM, gestational surrogacy poses lower risks, and is the preferred approach in the United States.
Step 1
Consult with an attorney who practices in the realm of reproductive law in the state where you and your partner reside. Laws surrounding surrogacy differ from state to state, oftentimes depending on the type of surrogacy. States that allow gestational surrogacy may bar traditional surrogacy, for instance.
Step 2
Work with a reliable agency, one with a formalized and comprehensive screening process, to help you find a suitable surrogate mom for you and your partner's baby. Agencies coordinate the medical, financial and legal details of the surrogacy arrangement, as well as any necessary travel.
Step 3
Set up a meeting between a counselor, yourself and your partner, and each of the surrogate mom candidates you short-list, to ensure that all parties have a thorough understanding of the psychological issues related to surrogacy --- attachment to the fetus, respecting the surrogate's mom privacy and the impact of the surrogacy on the existing children of both parties, for example. Apposite agencies vet medical, emotional and psychological issues through a formal Personal Assessment Inventory, or PAI, or Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, or MMPI. Have these meetings before you sign any binding legal document.
Step 4
Choose a surrogate mother based on both physical and psychological criteria. Optimal surrogates are 21, nonsmokers and have delivered a live born child to term, says ASRM. According to the Surrogacy Source, suitable surrogate moms live in a stable home where they raise at least one of their own children, have not been arrested or placed in rehab within the last 10 years, do not collect welfare and have dependable transportation.
Step 5
Have your attorney draw up the surrogacy contract legally. Outline the expected behavior of the surrogate to guarantee the health of your baby while in the womb, and create covenants regarding abortion or fetal reduction in cases of birth defects or multiple pregnancies.
Tips and Warnings
- Make it known to your circle of friends and relatives that surrogacy is top-of-mind for you and your partner. Sometimes relatives or friends will volunteer to carry your baby for you. Known surrogates require the same treatment legally; however, they will greatly reduce the overall cost of surrogacy.
- A surrogate mom's motivation to carry a baby for an infertile couple must never be financial. If you have any sense that a candidate's goal is more about earning a living than providing an altruistic service for a couple in need, reconsider.
Things You'll Need
- Lawyer specializing in reproductive law
- Reputable surrogacy agency
- Legally binding surrogacy contract
- Adequate health insurance
