Breaking an addiction is a challenge, and quitting smoking is no exception. There are hundreds of methods to quit smoking, but success may not lay in the method used, but the commitment put forth by the person addicted, solid planning with follow-through, and the support provided in those efforts. For those of us concerned about a friend's smoking habit, it is important to know that we can help by providing this support. Just as the smoker must make a plan to quit, a friend who wishes to support them must also commit to certain steps to provide adequate support.
Step 1
Avoid advice and problem solving. The smoker must become aware of her own power to find direction and solve problems.
Step 2
Ask questions. Since everyone is different, each smoker's path to quitting is different. Do not assume anything about the smoker's needs in terms of support. Make your intentions clear and ask how you can help. The first few days are typically the hardest when quitting. Be ready to invest more time during this initial phase.
Step 3
Emphasize the positive. Notice successful changes in behavior and thinking. If a friend tells you she followed her plan to quit for three days before she picked up a cigarette, give feedback that focuses on the achievement, not the return to smoking.
Avoid nagging, scolding or preaching to your friend--even if she lapses back into her habit. This only damages the trust your empathy built.
Step 4
Be available. Support is an active process. Be willing to back-up your commitment with your time and energy. This may mean phone calls, periodically going with the friend to social functions and visiting frequently--at least during the first few weeks.
Step 5
Provide distractions. Do things with your friend that do not focus on quitting or smoking. Distractions like going on walks, working out or catching a movie will provide her with something else to think about.
Find ways to emphasize how your friend's efforts positively influence you. Statements such as "It's good to be able go places with you that don't allow smoking" can help the smoker feel she is helping you. Avoid statements which induce guilt, like "It used to be a bummer that you could never go to the movies with me."
Step 6
Be willing to do this all again. Most ex-smokers report they try several times before reaching their goal. As a support person, you will need to do the same thing. Instead of giving up on your friend, let her know you are always there to help.
References
- Complete Guide to Heart Health; American Heart Association; 2003.
- 7 Steps to a Smoke-Free Life; Edwin B. Fisher; American Lung Association; 1998.
- Understanding Nicotine and Tobacco Addiction; Novartis Foundation; 2006.
