When a baby is born, his parents must feed, clothe, change and supervise their young child until he reaches an age of independence and can live on his own. This independence doesn't occur overnight, but rather in small increments starting in babyhood. Every day challenges of sitting up, rolling over, crawling, walking, and eating will create a more independent child who will soon become an independent young adult.
Misconceptions
Old wives tales encourage parents to let babies cry it out, wait to be fed, held or changed as a way to encourage them to become more independent and self- reliant. Unfortunately, this is a widely held misconception. When babies cry, it is their method of communication. They are telling their parents that they are tired, lonely, wet, or overstimulated. When parents respond quickly and consistently to their baby's needs, a sense of trust and confidence is nurtured in the infant. They trust their needs will be met, making it easier for them to interact with the world and try new things. They will thus become more independent as a result.
Independence and Separation
In the beginning, a newborn has no sense of himself. He is unaware that he is an individual separate from his mother or father. This realization begins to occur during the following two years.
Separation anxiety develops around 6 or 7 months and can continue into the second year of life. This separation anxiety is the beginning of the infant's realization that they are a separate individual and can be left alone.
When a baby begins to realize that his behavior has an affect on someone else, for example, crying in mother's presence results in feeding, he begins to develop an independent will. The development of independence is an exciting milestone and one that will bring many challenges as the baby's independence clashes with a parent's rules.
Parenting for Independence
The main tasks of parenting during infancy are meeting the baby's health, nutritional and safety needs. The more she grows, the more needs she will have. Providing an environment where a baby is safe to explore on her own without many safety risks will become important for fostering her independence. The more a baby is allowed to explore on her own, the more successful she will feel and the more self confidence she will gain as she make leaps toward independence.
Helicopter Parenting
"Time" magazine reported in 2009 about helicopter parents who "hover" over their baby, child, preteen, teenager, or college student by obsessing over her safety, nutrition, schooling, friendships, relationships and more. This type of parenting has produced kids who are less independent, less self-reliant and self-confident. This is the exact opposite of what these parents were aiming for.
As "Time" reports, failure is fruitful. A child must make mistakes to gain trust in his own abilities to try again. Encouraging your baby to explore, learn and grow--while also considering safety--will produce a much more independent child.
Time Frame
The journey toward independence begins in infancy. A baby whose needs are met will learn to trust herself and the world around her. As she grows, she will be encouraged to try new things, gaining independence and self confidence along the way.
