Family dynamics is a complex and fascinating study. There are many factors at work in a family, which rapidly becomes apparent when you start peeling back the elements. Culture, socioeconomic status, religious beliefs, childhood experiences and interactions with parents are all variables influencing how parents communicate with one another and with their children.
Culture
Masaki Matsunaga reports that while culture is helpful in understanding the landscape of the family unit, there is a notable absence of generalizable research into how culture affects family communication. In Latino cultures, family is extremely important and elders are revered and held in high regard, but how that value influences communication is not well known.
Parenting Styles
Dr. Craig Fowler, a faculty member in the Department of Communication at California State University, Fresno, examined two dimensions of parenting and their effects on the children. In one dimension, parents are open to a broad range of conversation topics when communicating with children; in the other dimension, parents are focused on "using power to elicit their children's obedience." He goes on to report that families that encouraged open communication had better outcomes for adolescents in terms of engaging in risky behaviors.
Timing
It can be hard to find time to sit and have dinner as a family, or to gather as a family to play a game. However, a report issued in 2010 by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University indicates that children in families that spend this time together five to seven times per week are significantly less likely to use tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana compared to families that sit together for dinner fewer than four times per week.
Beliefs and Values
The values and beliefs of a child's family of origin are not forgotten in adulthood. In fact, California psychotherapist Sue Passalacqua notes that the things learned as children play a powerful role in adults' communications. You may not be a practicing Catholic like your parents were, but the values and beliefs you learned from them still play a role in your life. This holds true even if you no longer subscribe to the same religion or political view. Beliefs and values from your childhood enter into your communications with your spouse and children in subtle and obvious ways, whether intentional or not.
Warning
People who grow up in abusive or neglectful homes carry their memories and experiences into adulthood as well. In some cases people decide they will never treat their children the way they were treated, and they make every effort to do things differently, with varying degrees of success. Others seem to lack insight into the matter, somehow either forgetting the unpleasantness of their childhood and parenting the way they were reared. These abnormal childhood experiences play a very powerful role in determining how a person will interact and communicate with his own family as an adult. If there is abuse in your home, get help. Counselors can help people sort these matters out, and most communities have shelters for survivors of abuse.
References
- Counseling & Values; "Understanding Gender and Culture Within the Context of Spirituality: Implications for Counselors"; Sue Passalacqua; 2008
- The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University: "The Importance of Family Dinners VI"; Joseph A. Califano, Chairman; 2010
- All Academic Research: "Family Communication Patterns, Parental Confirmation, and Children's Perceptions of their Relationships with Parents"; Craig Fowler; 2007
- All Academic Research: "An Empirical Review of Family Communication Over the Past 15 Years: Progression, Potential, and Suggestions"; Masaki, Matsunaga; 2007
- All Academic Research: "Passing the Love Along: An Intergenerational Study of Family Communication and Love Styles"; Naomi O'Neil; 2004
