Signs of Envy

Overview

Envy is a very strong emotion. In small doses, it may serve as a motivating factor in life. However, in larger doses there may be signs envy has become toxic and will sap joy out of life. Everyone experiences envy at one time or another. No one is immune to the "green monster" of envy. But how envy is handled is unique to each person. Typical signs of envy include the emotions of anger, resentment, fear of loss and destructively acting out.

Emulating Others Excessively

In small doses, being envious of someone may motivate a person to achieve similar goals. However, a warning sign of too much envy is emulating the behavior or look of someone else so excessively that an identity is lost in trying to be someone else. Part of the maturation process is figuring out what image to present to the world and what guidelines for behavior to follow. Without the process of building a unique self, envy takes over and a fake persona develops.

Envy Destroys Relationships

Envy sometimes destroys relationships or friendships. In large doses, envy is a wall between people. Envy makes it impossible to be truly happy about the achievements or joys of friends and relatives. The toxic jealousy of envy makes bonding difficult and wears away the joy of friendships. If envy arouses toxic emotions, take a walk outside and get outside of the world of emotions to enjoy peaceful time in nature. Find yourself in the joy of natural beauty and ignore the wants of envy and its toxic emotions.

Envy is Linked to Anger

Anger is often a sign of envy. Anger builds as someone else has achievements and envious feelings arise. If others seem to achieve goals easily, envy may spread within a social group. However, it's important to work to quell toxic emotions such as envy and anger, and focus on positive aspects of life.
Coveting the lives of others is a futile quest; true joy arises with a focus on finding happiness in skills and remembering that each person has unique talents.

Envy and Loss of Control

A sign of excessive envy is a feeling of loss of control over one's life. A person cannot control the achievements of others; thus, if life is constantly being compared and contrasted to the lives of others, all happiness dissipates. It's important to accept the realities of life. Attempting to control life events of others so envy doesn't arise is not possible. Envy results in a futile quest for life to be fair. Life too often is not fair; people must accept that and still work to find happiness.

Fear of Loss and Acting Out

A sign of envy is often experiencing a fear of loss that leads to acting out. Children especially may feel fear or envy if another sibling is getting too much attention, or if another child at school has stronger achievements. Envy may arise, and those turbulent feelings may lead to acting-out behavior.

Show Gratitude

Every person has special talents and is a unique force in the world. It's important to show gratitude for talents and for life itself. Gratitude depletes any possible feelings of envy. When life feels good and full of contentment, envy can't dominate emotions. Develop rituals to show gratitude, such as keeping a gratitude journal or going for ongoing gratitude walks to mull over the joys in life. University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky says, "It's hard to feel envy, greed, or bitterness when you're grateful."

Reach Out to Help Others

A great cure for envy is doing volunteer work as a good deed. There are always people whose lives require emergency help. Envy disappears when confronted with people who are in a perilous situation. Volunteering in a hospital requires concentration and empathy. All feelings of envy disappear when interacting with a person who is fighting to overcome illness. The self-centered feeling of wanting more that is strongly linked to envy should dissipate when volunteering and working to help others overcome difficult circumstances.