Those who suffer from an addiction to gambling might see that their lifestyle can have a devastating effect on their relationships. Problem gambling can be associated with lying, loss of trust, loss of money and loss of motivation. As a result of these problems, gamblers might find that relationships with their spouse, other family members, friends and co-workers might be ruined.
Function
The gambling habit can be an insidious one. According to Gamblers' Anonymous, a big win in casino or racetrack can become the fuel for a lifetime obsession. One gambling outing can lead to another and before long, the gambler is spending all his free time either betting or thinking about making that next bet. The gambler might carry on all appearances of a normal life such as going to work or carrying on as a functioning member of society. The National Council on Problem Gambling lists 10 criteria that define an individual as a pathological gambler. Some of the criteria include gambling longer than had been planned, using income or savings for gambling and having thoughts of suicide as a result of gambling.
Significance
An individual who is in the beginning stages of compulsive gambling will not stop after the first or second visit to the casino. Going to the casino three or four times per week might become a habit. Perhaps the gambler will end up making wagers online. Credit cards get charged to fund the gambling. Eventually, the credit card bill will come and the gambling spouse panics. He hides the bill and makes up lies. "Lying, evasion, deception, manipulation, spinning and other techniques for avoiding or distorting the truth are necessary parts of the addictive process," said Dr. Floyd Garrett of Behavioral Medicine Associates. "They precede the main body of the addiction like military sappers and shock troops, mapping and clearing the way for its advance and protecting it from hostile counterattacks."
Effects
A gambler who has been hiding his behavior will eventually be found out. This can be devastating to the gambler, his spouse or partner or others such as business partners or friends. The gambler's spouse, for example, will have many concerns. A wife might have realistic fears about the family's finances and the damage that has been done. She might also have concerns about the husband's well-being. Gam-Anon, a support group for spouses, parents and children of gamblers, urges those affected by a compulsive gambler to take care of themselves by disassociating from the gambler if it will cause more problems to stay with him.
Divorce
In the case of spouses of addicted gamblers, many ultimately decide to end their relationship with a divorce. According to Overcominggambling.com, the divorce rate of gamblers is double that of nongamblers. The hold of the gambling addiction on the gambler prevents him from living up to promises that he would quit gambling. The National Gambling Impact Study Commission reported that it had "abundant testimony and evidence that compulsive gambling introduces a greatly heightened level of stress and tension into marriages and families, often culminating in divorce and other manifestations of familial disharmony."
Considerations
The effect of gambling on a relationship can be ruinous. However, gambling addiction can be treated with the help of self-help groups such as Gamblers Anonymous, medication and therapy. It also takes patience, understanding and self-protection on the part of those in relationships with gamblers.
