Interpersonal communication depends on cognitive and emotional development. Additionally, at each stage throughout the lifespan, individuals are working through various life tasks that shape the ability to effectively communicate. According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, the main developmental task of the teen years lies in finding identity vs. becoming confused as to the meaning of the true self. This stage, as well as the cognitive and emotional abilities of an adolescent, must be considered when trying to understand the level of communication that occurs between male and female teens.
Development of Identity
Developmental Psychologist Erik Erikson, in his theory of lifespan development, believes that during the teen years, the main struggle lies in discovering identity. As such, peer and social relationships are very important for a teen. The communication between males and females at this stage serves to discover the self through the reflection of others. At this stage, a teen girl, for example, may base much of her self-worth on what her teen boyfriend thinks about her. Given this need for social acceptance from the opposite sex, young men and women require strong caregiver reinforcement to counteract the potentially negative messages communicated to them by their peers. Positive interpersonal male-female communication in adolescence, however, can help to solidify and enhance messages of strength and worth during these difficult years.
Emotional Development During Adolescence
As with identity, emotional development also occurs during the teen years. Issues such as popularity, social comparison, and the quest for autonomy lead to an increase in the emotional tone of communication between young men and women. Teens at this stage are learning how to talk about emotions and are beginning to understand the role of feelings as they discuss their life and choices. As such, the rate of depression--and even suicide--increases during adolescence. A study conducted by Catherine Boehm in 1995 revealed that in teens considering suicide, the top two conflicts revolved around family problems and peer relationships. Of the teens questioned in the study, 25 percent felt that life would be easier if they just had someone with whom to talk. Thus, communication between male and female teens is based, at least in part, on new emotional developments.
Cognitive Development
Cognitive changes also impact communication in adolescence. Developmental psychologist Jean Piaget calls this period of development the formal operations stage. During this phase of cognitive development, abstract reasoning and logic are employed to solve problems. Teens begin to think hypothetically, which allows them to truly think about an issue from another person's perspective. This ability adds a new depth to male-female relationships because hypothetical thinking creates empathy. The issue many teens may face lies in that development occurs at different rates. For instance, in a male-female dyad, one of the pair may have a well-developed sense of abstraction, while the other may not. This can lead to interpersonal conflict and diminished quality of communication.
Morality and Communication
In his theory of moral development, Lawrence Kohlberg says that during adolescence, a post conventional view of morality is reached. This means teens are beginning to look at their own sense of right and wrong rather than just following set societal conventions and rules. As such, their communication and decisions may be based on their own inner moral compass rather than rules imposed on them. For teen men and women, this may mean their communication changes when considering what to do and how to go about doing it. Parents need to be aware that at this stage of moral development, teens are learning that they may have different views from society and that while a sense of self is important, it may lead to poor choices on the part of the child.
Significance
The significance of examining developmental stages when considering male and female communication lies in understanding what drives teens to say and do particular things. The cognitive, emotional and moral development of a child, in many ways, determines their behaviors. For teen men and women, conflict may occur in the midst of communication simply because the members of the pair are at different stages in their development. By observing and understanding where their child lies on the spectrum of development at various levels, parents can help alleviate the stress and pain that occurs in many male-female interpersonal relationships by simply educating their child on the variations in human nature during the teen years.
References
- "Adolescence" (journal); "Calls to teen line: representative concerns of adolescents"; Catherine Boehm et al; 1998 Winter; 33(132):797-803.
- "Essays on Moral Development, Vol. I: The Philosophy of Moral Development"; Lawernce Kohlberg; 1981
- "Development Across Lifespan, Fourth Edition"; Robert Feldman; 2006
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