How to Fix a Friendship That Is Broken
Overview
Maintaining a close relationship with a friend can be challenging, particularly if work, family or hobbies keep you busier than you would like. When good friends argue or drift apart, it may initially seem as if the relationship will never be the same again. Depending on the circumstances of the split, broken friendships can be fixed and even strengthened, provided that both of you are willing to take the steps needed to repair the relationship.
Step 1
Practice what you will say to your friend before you contact her. Anticipate what she will say in reply and think about your response. Use a notepad and write down a few key points that you want to make regarding the importance of the friendship.
Step 2
Apologize to your friend for your part in the split. When you apologize, mention how sorry you are that things turned out the way they did. If you did something that contributed to the problem, apologize for that behavior, but avoid bringing up your friend's role in the conflict.
Step 3
Talk about the problem if she wants to discuss it. Share your thoughts and feelings about the situation, but avoid placing blame on your friend. Acknowledge that your behavior played a part in the rift.
Step 4
Do something nice for your friend without expecting anything in return. Send her flowers or a card. Offer to take her to the airport if she has an early flight.
Step 5
Keep in touch with your friend at least once each week. Use the telephone to avoid confusion about tone or meaning that can occur when you text or email someone.
Step 6
Plan a get-together when you friend seems receptive to your attempts to repair the friendship. Choose an activity that both of you enjoy that can be completed in a few hours.
Tips and Warnings
- Conduct your apology in person if possible. If your friend is not willing to meet with you, a telephone call may have to suffice. Make a point to change any behavior on your part that may have contributed to the problem. If your constant lateness annoyed your friend, start leaving for social events 15 minutes earlier. If discussions about politics or religion lead to arguments, make those subjects taboo.
- Every friendship can't be saved. If your friend has no interest in resuming the relationship despite your continued efforts, give up. While the loss of a friendship is sad, apply the knowledge you have learned about yourself to ensure that your other friendships run smoothly.
Things You'll Need
- Notepad
References
About this Author
Jill Leviticus has over twenty years' experience writing for the non-profit and healthcare sectors. She has also written business, health and travel articles for several online publications and websites. Leviticus has a degree in journalism from Lock Haven University and works as a public relations writer.
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