All children react differently to death. Reactions depend on the child's maturity level, previous experience with trauma and how other family members deal with the loss. According to the American Academy of Pediatricians, responses for the year following a father's death can be rife with rebellion and negative acting-out or may be characterized by quieter, more isolating behaviors. Anniversary dates and birthdays may be particularly difficult the first time they roll around.
Significance
A father's death significantly impacts a child's future development. Young children especially feel the loss in a variety of practical ways, while older children may have developed enough self-sufficiency to escape many of the consequences of their father's death. According to the American Academy of Pediatricians, it is impossible to predict how you or a child will feel when a birthday comes in the first year; some children may re-experience the loss, others may hardly notice the date.
Considerations
It's important not to judge a child's reactions, but to help her cope with the feelings that do appear on the important dates that arise in the first year. Behaviors may vary from aggressiveness and anger to depression and melancholy. If the mother is still alive, she should plan to spend time with children on the important dates during that first year to comfort her children and be there in case the date brings on feelings the children cannot handle, according to the American Academy of Pediatricians.
Effects
The effects of an early childhood trauma, such as the death of a father, can have lifelong ramifications. According to the American Psychological Association, children who lose a parent in childhood area at risk for developing multiple health conditions. Cell inflammation increases from prolonged negative emotions, often exacerbated for a year or more following the loss. Life expectancy often is lowered by as much as 15 years because of the early grief.
Prevention/Solution
Surviving parents and caretakers can prepare for the first birthday during ongoing therapy sessions throughout the year. According to the American Psychological Association, psychological treatment can mitigate negative responses to the initial grief as well as ongoing negativity that resurfaces at the first birthday. Therapy can help to alleviate inflammation due to grief and to prevent serious medical complications.
Features
According to the University of Kentucky, the first two years following the death of a parent are the most important. During that time, children of surviving parents who have gone into a depression over the loss tend to be more depressed themselves. When the mother goes into a deep depression during the first birthday, the children are at higher risk of following her example. Alternatively, children of surviving parents who cope appropriately during the first year provide a more stable environment in which the children also can move through their grief in a healthy manner and even celebrate the first birthday with joy and happy memories.
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