An abusive relationship means that the relationship consists of a victim and an abuser. An abuser will either use intimidation or physical force to dominate and control a spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. Behaviors common to abusers include jealousy, controlling their partner and blaming their partner for problems. A 2000 survey by the U. S. Department of Justice found that 1.3 million women and more than 800,000 men are physically assaulted each year by their partner.
Precursors to Potential Violence
Behaviors of abusers have been well documented. When you're ready to leave your abuser, be aware of the behaviors that could quickly turn dangerous. Acting jealous and possessive, asking you where you're going, limiting your access to money or credit cards and checking up on you are just some of the behaviors abusers consistently exhibit, according to HelpGuide. If you're preparing to leave and these behaviors emerge, your abuser may be suspicious and possibly turn violent quickly.
A "Quick Recovery"
The most dangerous point in an abusive relationship, according to Heart 2 Heart -- a support network in Ontario, Canada -- is during and immediately after leaving. Your abuser may experience a supposedly quick and miraculous "recovery." He or she may cry, give you gifts and apologize privately as well as publicly. Your abuser may say everything you've ever hoped to hear. But the reality is that without real accountability and proof of change, you could be lured back to your abuser only to be victimized again. Heart 2 Heart reports that on average, an abuse victim will leave his or her abuser seven times.
Phone Calls, Emails and Messages
Abusers may continue with emotional abuse, fear tactics and intimidation by phone, email and social networking sites. Anything may "set off" an unstable abuser. On her website, Woman's Divorce, attorney and mediator Brette Sember reports that once you leave your abuser, you should not tell him where you're staying, and you should stop taking his calls and block his email address. Not doing what he wants -- refusing to go back home, not giving him another chance or choosing to not argue about child custody -- could anger him. If he threatens to come find you, call 911.
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