Learning your ABCs and effectively communicating with your children can both be daunting tasks. When children learn their ABCs, they say or sing the letters over and over. How can you learn to communicate well with your child? As the saying goes, "Practice Makes Perfect," or in this case, more effective. Learning to communicate effectively can enhance your child's self-esteem and will model positive communication for her to take into adulthood.
Developing Listening Skills
Effectively communicating with your child requires skill, patience, respect, maintaining trust, and active listening. Active listening means that he has your full attention, free of television, telephone talking, computer surfing, and any other life activities. Let him finish what he is saying and then acknowledge his feelings. You might tell him that you understand how hard that must have been for him or that he must be very proud of himself. If the situation requires problem solving, ask him what he thinks is a good solution and then help him develop his answer into something that you are both comfortable with.
Using Positive Words
The Child Development Institute highlights the importance of using positive words of encouragement and reinforcement for healthy communication with your child. Using this as a style of communication enhances a child's self-esteem and fosters trust between the two of you. Some words or phrases it suggests are: Excellent, Correct, Wonderful, I like the way you do that, I'm pleased with and proud of you, Good work, Much better, Good remembering.
"A" dapting to Your Child's Personality
Children develop different personalities. Some children are comfortable verbalizing while other children are not. Verbal children will sit and have a conversation. It is important to listen to these children and help them identify and express their feelings. Reflect their feelings back to them accurately. For example, if Tammy says she's angry because her dog died, you might ask her if she feels sad about the fact that her dog died. For a less verbal child, engage her in an activity. Play dolls with her and watch how she has the dolls interact. Ask her if she ever feels like that, or wishes she could be like that. Also, you can throw a ball with her and watch how she expresses her frustrations, her victories, and her failures. Encourage her to express herself as you are playing.
"B" Knowledgeable About Your Child's Developmental Capacity
Erik Erikson identified a full spectrum of developmental stages over the course of a lifetime. Your child is developing and learning appropriately for his age. What does that mean in terms of communicating with your child? Use simple words when your child is young. Speak in respectful, positive terms. Give him positive reinforcement when he does what you are asking. As he matures, you can use bigger words and concepts. Seek to understand the developmental tasks of childhood. For example, "the terrible twos" is his first attempt at mastering independence. To do so, he needs your encouragement.
"C"ommunicate Between Parents or Caregivers
Children rely on parents or caregivers to be consistent with them. Children also want to have what they want. Often, a child will ask one parent or caregiver if he can have, let's say, an extra hour on the computer. If told no, he will go to the other parent or caregiver and ask the same question in the hopes of getting that extra hour. Therefore, it is important that all adults who are responsible for that child to give the child the same rules or expectations.
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