There are a variety of strategies for child behavioral management to suit children's many different personalities and temperaments. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the most effective of these strategies aim to teach good behavior, as opposed to merely punishing bad behavior. Consistently applied, age-appropriate strategies may help you to successfully decrease undesired behavior and increase positive behavior in your child.
Positive Behavior Management
You may have heard the phrase, "Catch your child being good." Positive behavior management techniques are built around that concept, using praise and rewards to shape behavior. One approach is the "token" system in which the child earns a marble or ticket for good behavior which he can cash in for a reward. The American Academy of Pediatrics strong discourages physical punishment, such as spanking, and notes that positive attention toward your child, verbal praise for good behavior and respectful communication will elicit better results in the long run.
Rules and Consequences
Children are wonderful observers who quickly learn that actions have natural consequences. It is important establish clear, understandable rules for your child, and consequences that are -- whenever possible -- logical and related to the infraction. For breaking a rule such as "No candy after dinner," a logical consequence might be, "No candy for one week," for example. Creativity is necessary when it is difficult or impossible to create a consequence to precisely match the violation. For instance, the child who refuses to take a bath may not be allowed to visit a friend the next day.
Consistency
Consistency is vital to any behavior management strategy. Parents must agree about disciplinary strategies and the rules in order to present a united front. The rules must also be upheld -- and the consequences applied -- consistently. If the child only occasionally receives a consequence for an undesirable behavior, that behavior is unlikely to decrease in frequency. Rules should not be made up on the spot; however, new violations may cause you to want to revise or add to the rules/consequences from time to time. Let your child know ahead of time when any change is being made.
Flexibility and Your Child's Age
Although child management requires consistently, there may come a time when a particular technique no longer works. This may be because the child has outgrown the technique, or it has simply lost its usefulness. For example, time-outs are most appropriate for children aged 3 to 5, but older children may respond better to a token system. KidsHealth states that taking away a privilege will be most effective for adolescents.
Role Modeling
"Do as I say, not as I do" does not work for child behavior management. Children will model the behavior of the adults around them. If what they see contradicts what they are being told, they are much more likely to imitate what they are observing. Although it may mean changing your own habits, it is important that you be a good role model for your child. Changing your own behavior can be a challenge, but it will have a big impact on your child's behavior in the long run.
