1. What Am I Doing Wrong?
Parents everywhere cry this same lament as they watch their children grow: "Am I giving my children everything that they need?" As parents, we are here to give our children a place in the world and, hopefully, to convey to them a feeling that they matter. With this, they should meet their basic needs for survival. But, when we deny them proper and adequate food, clothing, health care and education, we have reason to judge ourselves as neglectful.
2. Do I Pay Them Off?
Watch how you treat your children on all levels. Parents are the primary trainers of children, in a sense acclimating them to the society around them. Develop your child's abilities to make sense of--and succeed in--the market economy around her. Instead of giving an allowance for no other reason than that "it's time for your allowance," attach monetary value to various household chores and pay your child for each when the job is well done. By not doing something like this, we neglect our child's development of a responsible and contributory view toward the world she lives in.
3. Oh God, Where Art Thou?
We neglect our children's spiritual development in at least a couple of ways. If we don't teach them to recognize that there is a higher power--whether it be God, Allah, Zeus, the Force or, simply, life itself--then we run the risk of closing them off to the wider world that's around them. However, if we push a particular religious belief on them because we think "they should go to church" and force them to follow precepts that have inherently logical inconsistencies (or worse, to follow doctrines that we do not believe or follow), then we teach them not to trust in their own inner voices. We can be neglectful by teaching them that their inner logic and sense of life doesn't have validity.
4. Substance Abuse
We live in a society that condemns the use of some intoxicating substances, while supporting, promoting and advertising the use of others. Teaching children that looking to alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, heroin or any other such drug is a good thing, is patently neglectful. While world statistics for neglect are all over the board--due, in part, to problems of interpretation and questionalble objectivity--studies show the grave danger that these and other substances have brought to families, especially those on low income and social services. Don't neglect the mental, physical or moral foundations that your children need.
5. Teach Them to Fly
Children begin to assert their own personalities from a very young age. Treat them with respect as they grow, and let them know that you see them as independent, individual beings, while taking an active role in their lives and formation. Over-reacting to things they do wrong can be as harmful as leaving them completely on their own. Be there for support and guidance, but help them learn by letting them experience the consequences of their own choices.
Member Comments