1. The Unattainable Virtue?
Whoever said that patience is a virtue probably didn't have both a houseful of kids and a full time job to manage. Patience is probably one of the most coveted, yet often least attainable, of life's virtues. An impatient parent is one who also feels angry and frustrated and those negative emotions can affect her children. Parents who are impatient may yell more at their kids, resent them or even ignore them completely. The way a parent treats her children has a direct impact on their self esteem. Children raised at the hands of an impatient parent may also suffer anxiety and depression.
2. Meet Their Needs
Patience means showing compassion, understanding and respect to someone in need. A child with unmet needs is more likely to provoke your impatience by reacting negatively. How many times have you been in the middle of an important task only for your toddler to ask a dozen times for a snack? The more he asks, the more impatient you become. If you take a few minutes to recognize his needs, however, you can often avert situations that cause you to lose your patience. Time means nothing to a child, so asking him to "wait a minute" is like asking him to wait an eternity.
3. You Have Needs, too
Recognize and meet your own needs, as well. Not only do parents have responsibilities to their children, they probably have obligations to their careers and social activities as well. However, your patience is likely to wane the more outside tasks fracture your time and energy. Where you can, delegate jobs. An older child can fold and put away the laundry while a younger one collects the trash. Hire a college student to babysit for a few hours during the weekend while you clean your house or run errands. Lastly, don't forget to take time for yourself. Whether it's a few minutes to read a magazine or to take a walk, everyone needs a little "down time" to rejuvenate her spirit.
4. Start Small
Practice ways to increase patience with your children. To begin, you may need to reevaluate your own expectations of them. Perhaps becoming impatient with your toddler's inability to master the potty simply means she is not physically or emotionally ready to learn. If your tween consistently does not finish his homework, it's probably a sign he needs extra help rather than an indication he's lazy. Break large tasks into smaller, more attainable goals. If your daily to-do list and parental responsibilities leaves you feeling overwhelmed, take small steps to accomplish each task.
5. Take a Moment
Having patience requires a conscious change of behavior. If you have problems with patience and often explode in fits of anger, try techniques to calm down. Sometimes parents need a "time out" too. If your toddler has overturned the kitty's food dish for the tenth time and you're about to "lose it," remove yourself from the situation. Walk into another room and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. When you feel less reactive, you'll be better able to address your child in a calm and rational way.
