Dr Sandra Pertot, author of "When Your Sex Drives Don't Match," believes that each person has a distinct type of libido. When well matched, couples can enjoy a fulfilling sex life that engages both of their libido types. When poorly matched, one or both of the partners in the relationship may find themselves frustrated and unfulfilled. Knowing your libido type can help you to understand your own sexuality, especially in relation to another's libido type. See which libido type you most closely identify with.
Entitled
Those with an entitled libido believe that they should receive sex because they are in a committed relationship. To one with an entitled libido, there is no reason to romance or impress the partner, because sex is more or less expected.
Compulsive
If you have a compulsive libido, then you may constantly need to find new ways, places and situations to have sex in to keep things fresh and exciting. A compulsive libido is inflamed by the special, unexpected and even dangerous situations in which sex can begin.
Addictive
Someone with an addictive libido may stray from a relationship more often than not. An addictive libido can make it hard to say no to sex or more than one sexual partner even when in a committed relationship. The temptation of sex is far too much to withstand, even when the consequences are serious.
Reactive
If you have a reactive libido, then you are only aroused when you are pleasing your partner. You go to great lengths to make sure that they are fulfilled, which in turn ignites your own libido. This can cause problems by giving too much and never becoming sexually satisfied.
Sensual
Someone with a sensual libido becomes more aroused with the emotional connection of the act of sex, rather than the sex itself. While performance is still important, a sensual libido is raised by emotional, sensitive connections between partners.
Stressed
A stressed libido is hard to deal with, as someone with a stressed libido may not feel that they can have sex when in a stressed state. Although the reasons for the stress may vary, you may avoid sex because of those feelings, and a doubt that you can please your partner while in the act.
Dependant
A dependent libido needs constant reassurance, compliments and love from the partner in order to be nurtured and ignited. Sex in turn makes you feel self worth and loved, and you equate sex with those feelings. When not receiving sex, your feelings of self worth may suffer unless you find a way to feel loved without it.
Disinterested
A disinterested libido is one of someone who doesn't care for sex, and doesn't make it a part of his life. A disinterested libido matched with an erotic libido can be disastrous.
Erotic
One with an erotic libido can only feel love and closeness with her partner while having sex. This can be especially trying with other libido types, as she may feel that a relationship doesn't have worth without a healthy sex life.
Detached
Someone with a detached libido functions better when completing sex as a solo act. A partner is not necessary to become turned on, probably because of a long history of self-satisfaction, or being too distracted to pleasure a partner.
References
- Libido Types
- How to Match Your Sex Drives
- When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Dr. Sandra Pertot, 2008
