A study about weight stigmatization published in the April 2008 issue of "Health Education Research" reported some eye-opening results. The researchers from Yale's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity surveyed 318 overweight people about their experiences and discovered that "close relationship partners (such as friends, parents and spouses) were the most common source of their worst stigmatizing encounters." Sabotage and weight-based stereotypes---such as "overweight people are lazy"---negatively impact the self-esteem and efforts of those who need to lose weight. A spouse can significantly contribute to, or detract from, weight-loss success.
Step 1
Provide support and encouragement. Never nag or criticize your spouse about her weight. Don't offer constant reminders about her weight, what she's eating or lack of exercise. Your spouse is aware of all the negatives and your reminders are perceived as harassment that's likely to result in emotional overeating. Instead, ask your spouse what you can do to help. Attempt to understand any emotional issues that impact your spouse's habits, such as stress or overwork. Focus on your concerns about her health and your desire to be together for a lifetime.
Step 2
Avoid sabotage. Sabotage is not always a conscious choice or a purposeful act, so it's important to always be mindful of your words and actions. Keep sweets, high-fat, unhealthy or empty-calorie foods out of the house. Watch what portions you serve at meal times, rather than piling food on the plate out of habit. Don't insist that your spouse eat the high-calorie dessert you spent hours preparing. Be aware of behaviors that sabotage your spouse's diet.
Step 3
Participate in lifestyle changes. It doesn't matter whether you want or need to lose weight; a healthy lifestyle benefits everyone, so become a role model. Work together with your spouse to adapt your favorite recipes to be more nutritious. Prepare home-cooked meals together. Offer to exercise together. The bottom line is to do it together. A study published in the August 2009 issue of "Public Health Nutrition," reported that couples working together lost more weight than those whose spouse did not participate.
Step 4
Comment on the positive. It's easy to notice and mention weight gain or slips in diet but that doesn't serve any purpose other than "nagging." Notice your spouse's small successes and make it a point to compliment her. Be specific about what she has accomplished. Tell her you see her hard work paying-off. This type of acknowledgment is encouraging, supportive, and helps your spouse overcome self-blame.
Step 5
Seek professional help. If your best efforts do not seem effective, or if your actions contribute to your spouse's lack of success, get advice from a professional. Contact your local hospital to learn about weight-loss programs. Obtain the services of a certified dietician to help with diet. Consider hiring a personal coach to oversee an exercise program. Depending on the dynamics of your relationship, don't hesitate to seek counseling to discuss relationship issues that impact eating habits and weight gain.
Tips and Warnings
- Remember that the key to successful weight loss depends on a healthy lifestyle that can be maintained over time. Your support plays a critical role helping your spouse develop and maintain that lifestyle.
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