5 Things You Need to Know About Coping With Divorce

1. Change is Hard

Stress comes from so many different sources when a couple divorces. Partners must redefine every aspect of their lives when they choose to live apart. Breadwinners must become somewhat domesticated, while those who primarily cared for the home must now support themselves financially. You may feel overwhelmed by the new responsibilities and question your decision to end your marriage or you may thrive in your new role. Coping with divorce isn't easy and everyone reacts differently to an ended marriage, especially when the divorce isn't your idea.

2. The Blame Game

Friends and family members often respond negatively to the announcement of your ending marriage. They may make you feel that you need to work harder to save your marriage, that a bad marriage beats no marriage at all or that the only thing you do well is fail. Friends often choose sides in a divorce; family members can, too. Avoid people who dig for intimate details of your life together, who blame you for the divorce or who are overly sympathetic to your situation. The last thing you need is the responsibility of making someone else feel less guilty over the loss of their own marriage. Stick with people who offer support and understanding and who make you feel like you aren't alone.

3. Keep the Kids out of It

Perhaps the biggest source of guilt in a divorce comes from breaking up a home with children. Little ones bear absolutely no responsibility in a divorce, but they often think of themselves as the cause for the breakup. Children need reassurance in a united approach by both parents. Your kids should know that no matter what happens between mom and dad, the children's needs come first. Arguments about support and visitation are between the parents and should never occur in front of the children. Parents may try to use their children to manipulate an ex-spouse, but this manipulation only hurts the kids. Divorcing parents should allow children to develop their own relationship with each parent and honor agreed upon visitation schedules.

4. Focus on you

Exercise is a great way to deal with the stress of a divorce along with eating well. Give yourself permission to take it easy while you sort out your emotions. Take the time to relax and discover your own interests, apart from your ex. Keep in mind that during the emotional roller coaster ride of divorce you should wait to make any major decisions.

5. Cut Yourself Some Slack

Given the emotional cost of a divorce, you should prepare to function at a lower-than-normal level for awhile. Allow yourself time to heal and expect to feel strongly about your divorce, its causes and your outlook on the future. Apprehension about what lies around the corner is normal. People fear change, even when that change brings riches you never dreamed existed.