Grief is the emotional response to loss, such as when a loved one dies. An adolescent's grief is determined by his personality and his relationship to the person who has died. Adolescents often experience the stages of grief differently from younger children or adults. The loss of a parent, a sibling or a close friend can create intense feelings of guilt. Because adolescents are naturally inclined to want privacy and independence, they often need help dealing with their grief and loss.
Self-expression and Creativity
Grief exercises that involve self-expression and creativity are good ways to help your adolescent express her feelings. Mental health services provide grief programs in drama, art, music and creative writing. Provide your adolescent with tools to perform these activities at home. A special journal can encourage her to write down her thoughts or compose poems about her loss. Poster boards, art supplies or computer access can lead to a creative expression of your child's grief or of the importance of the person he has lost. Provide prompts to give your adolescent a place to start.
Memorialize
Adolescents understand the permanence of their loss, so a memorial helps them honor the memory of a loved one. Help your child plant a tree in honor of his loved one. Encourage him to participate in a walk-a-thon related to the cause of death. A photo tree is a good way for a younger adolescent to create a tribute. Your older adolescent can create a PowerPoint presentation using photos, graphic arts and statements to tell the store of his loved one's life.
Anniversaries
Adolescents often re-experience feelings of grief during the anniversary of their loss. Suggest exercises to help your child mark the anniversary in a way that allows him to express his grief and the continued importance of his loved one. The Center for Grieving Children in Maine helps grieving young people by using the four candle ritual: place a photograph of the loved one on a table with four candles and have your child light each candle -- for grief, courage, memories and love -- as he recites something he has written to honor his loved one.
Holidays
Holidays are another time of renewed grief over the loss of a loved one. The anticipation of a holiday without that person might be reflected in your child's behavior. Talk to her about her feelings and help think of ways to remember and include the loved one during the holiday. Your child can honor the loved one by volunteering or giving a gift in the loved one's name. She can schedule a story night for everyone to share memories of the loved one. For Christmas, she can hang a stocking for the loved one and encourage everyone to put notes about the person in the stocking.
References
- Hospice of the Valley: Grief Speak -- What is Grief?
- Center for Grieving Children: Teen Activities
- KidsHealth: Death and Grief -- Caring for Yourself
- National Alliance for Grieving Children: Creating a Slide Show
- Adolescent Counseling Services: Adolescent Grief
- Center for Grieving Children: Grief and the Holidays
