Alcoholism can be devastating for the person drinking and close friends and family members. It's common for loved ones to want to help an alcoholic get help; it's also common for the alcoholic to refuse it. Unless the treatment is ordered by a court, you can't force him to get help. Helping an unwilling alcoholic requires a lot of patience and determination.
Step 1
Stop covering up for her, so she can experience the full extent of how her drinking affects others. Allow her to be subject to the full consequences of drinking -- whether that be losing her job, her driver's license or her friends.
Step 2
Plan a time to sit down and discuss the situation and your feelings. Choose a time when he isn't intoxicated and preferably after an episode that was alcohol-related -- such as a major argument, car accident or job loss. Avoid talking when he is drunk or seeking alcohol because your words won't register.
Step 3
Provide examples of how the drinking has caused problems, and be specific. Choose specific incidents when her drinking has affected your life and explain it in detail.
Step 4
List consequences of not agreeing to seek help. These may include refusing money, kicking him out of the house or cutting him out of your life altogether. Let it be known you are serious and don't list any consequences you aren't prepared to follow through with.
Step 5
Ask other members of your family or close friends to be a part of the discussion if you feel it will help. Contact Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous or a treatment facility to ask questions and get support. Have a plan of action ready if you're able to change her mind.
