5 Things You Need to Know About Grief

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1. Each Loss Affects You Differently

The death of a loved one, a divorce, the loss of a job or the diagnosis of a serious illness are all painful losses that may cause you various amounts of grief. Remember that you're allowed to feel differently about each loss you experience and the feelings you're going through are all a normal part of the grieving process.

2. You'll Experience Various Stages of Grief

According to Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, people go through five stages of grief. The first stage is denial, which is an inability to accept the loss. The second stage is anger. During this part of the grieving process, you may be angry with or try to place blame on yourself, the person who died or others. The third stage is the bargaining stage, where you'll do anything to make the loss disappear so you can go back to the way things were. The fourth stage is depression, in which you may feel sad, lonely and hopeless. The final stage of grief is acceptance. You may still feel upset about your loss, but you've learned to accept it and are able to move on with your life. While many people experience all five stages of grief, you may cycle through them in different orders feeling a range of emotions at any given time.

3. Take Your Own Path

All people grieve in their own personal ways. Immediately after the loss, you may feel nauseous or have difficulty breathing, sleeping and eating. You may feel waves of shock, withdrawal or guilt. To recover from the loss, you'll need to accept its reality, experience the grieving process, get used to living your life without the person or situation that you've lost and, finally, move on with your life.

4. Find a Healthy Way to Cope

While your initial reaction to loss may be to isolate yourself or to pick up a bad habit such as smoking or drinking, remember that those coping methods won't help you in the long run. Instead, ask a friend to go jogging with you or to join you for a movie. Take a yoga or kickboxing class, get involved in a local support group or keep a journal so you can write down your feelings. Above all, make sure to talk about your loss with loved ones or with a counselor who will support you through the grieving process so you can come out on the other side feeling hopeful.

5. Time Heals All Wounds

Since grieving is such a draining process, you may be wondering when these feelings will go away. Each person grieves differently, so there's no way to know how long your specific loss will affect you. You may start feeling better in just a few months or it may take a few years. Either way, you must give yourself time to grieve, and know that as time passes, things will get better.

About this Author

Danielle Mulcahy has trained intensively in ballet, modern jazz and tap dancing for more than 15 years. She has worked as a dance instructor, choreographer and aerobics instructor and has written articles on ballet dancing and Pilates exercises.

Last updated on: 11/18/09

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