Talking to kids about sex can be uncomfortable. But there are many sources of information, including the Internet, TV and peers, so parents who are concerned about kids getting information about sex that is correct and reflects their values should rely on themselves and talk to their kids about the subject. Although parents can talk to their kids about sex at any stages of their childhood, talking to them while they are younger will help ensure they get the correct information before other factors intervene and cause misconceptions.
Step 1
Initiate the conversation. Children may not turn to parents for information about sex. Even so, initiating the conversation will ensure the topic of sex comes up when the parents are ready with the information they want to present.
Step 2
Discuss values. Parental values should be discussed in the conversation, especially if there are religious values that the parents want to highlight. Parents should state their values clearly. For example, if the parents believe that there should not be sex out of wedlock, this should be stated. Respect and dignity between sexual partners can be discussed in the context of values.
Step 3
Talk about relationships. Talk about the concept that sex between two people means that there is a relationship between the two people. Once this is established, the meaning of trust between partners can be talked about. Use examples from your life to illustrate the meaning of trust.
Step 4
Bring up the subject of emotions. Emphasize the difference between emotions and desires. While someone may get mad at another person, there may be no hatred involved. In the same way, because someone wants to have sex with someone else, there may be no love involved.
Step 5
Highlight the consequences of sex. Discuss the positive and negative consequences of having sex. While there may be short-term satisfaction, there are long-term implications. Feelings can get hurt, and people may feel crushed if the sexual partner loses interest in the relationship. Sex brings a new level of intimacy, and this intimacy is not something that can be dismissed. Pregnancy is another consequence that should be talked about.
Step 6
Describe the biological act. The description of what occurs during sex should be talked about using words the kids can understand. This can be the easiest part of the conversation because there are no ambiguities, although it can be the most uncomfortable part of the discussion. Use a medical outlook and describe the biological functions.
Tips and Warnings
- Start the conversation when a teachable moment presents itself, such as viewing a news story on TV about the consequences of teenage sex. It is best to start talking to your kids about sex before puberty kicks in.
- Children may ask questions for which there are no easy answers.
