Good manners start early. You can have a polite child if you teach him proper etiquette and manners from an early age. There are many ways to do this, from telling him what to do and reinforcing it positively, to showing him what to do yourself and pointing out other people showing good manners. You must do this consistently until his good manners become automatic. Soon you'll be proud of him as he impresses others with his politeness and proper etiquette.
Step 1
Teach your children manners from the time they are toddlers. Children can start learning manners and etiquette from the age of 2, according to counselor and educator Linda Altman. They are eager to please at that age and are receptive to being instructed in good behavior.
Step 2
Praise your children when they use good manners and etiquette. This reinforces the behavior, says psychologist Alex Packer. The praise can be simple, like, "I was proud of your good table manners when we had dinner at Aunt Mary's house," or "You said 'thank you' so politely to your brother when he gave you a cookie.'" This lets the child know what she is doing correctly.
Step 3
Model good manners and etiquette for your children, advises Packer. Say "please" and "thank you" and point out examples of good etiquette. For example, you might say, "I am writing thank-you notes for Christmas presents now. We should always show people we are thankful when they give us a gift."
Step 4
Explain why a certain behavior is proper etiquette or good manners. Use your child's behavior and point out examples by other people, too. For example, you might say, "See how that man opened the door for that lady? She was carrying a lot of packages, so it really helped her, because she might have dropped one if she had to open it herself." This teaches your child the cause and effect of etiquette.
Step 5
Expand your expectations as your child gets older. A young child can learn to speak politely. As she gets older, you can expect her to use proper manners when eating or interacting with people. You can sit down with her to write thank-you notes, even when she is too young to write them herself. She can tell you what to write and can sign her name. Shift the expectation to her when she is old enough do it herself.
Tips and Warnings
- Use practice and role playing to teach your child proper etiquette, advises Cara Pitterman of Scholastic Parents. For example, teach him how to answer the phone and handle calls properly by making pretend calls on a toy phone.
- Children may pick up bad manners from cartoons, television shows and peers. Watch for instances so you can immediately correct your child. You can offset some of the negative influence by reaching storybooks that emphasize good manners to the child, says Pitterman.
