Abusive, troubled teens need outside help. These teens didn't wake up one day and say, "I'm going to hit my girlfriend," or, "I think I'll scream at my mom and call her names until she cries." It might have been years of abuse from a father, bullying at school or drug use that led to your teen being abusive himself. It could be a combination of things. As soon as you see signs that your teenager is becoming abusive, you should get her professional help. You're not helping your teen by covering it up or denying the problem.
Step 1
Call a mental health professional that specializes in working with teens and get advice from her. She can give you specific advice for your situation and advise you on how to get your teen in for counseling. Therapy should be the first step.
Step 2
Engage in family therapy. If your teenager is abusive, whether you know it or not, it's affecting every member of your household. You'll want to involve everyone in therapy to deal with this issue.
Step 3
Get individual therapy for your teen and any other family members greatly affected by the abuse. Parents of abusive teens can usually benefit from individual therapy or couples therapy as well, because it's extremely difficult to deal with this type of situation every day.
Step 4
Find out if your teen is using drugs. First, ask your teen if he is using drugs. If he is, he'll more than likely deny any drug use and attempt to cover up any signs of drug use. Pick up a drug-testing kit at your local drug store and test your teen at home or take him to his primary care physician and have him tested. If the drug test comes out negative but you believe he is using, trust your instincts and continue randomly testing him. Some drugs only show up if your teen has used them in the past couple of days and many teens know how to fake their drug tests by watering it down.
Step 5
Get drug treatment for your teen if she is using or you think she is using. Depending on the drugs she is using and the intensity of use, she may need a rehabilitation program or an intensive outpatient program.
Tips and Warnings
- If therapy doesn't seem to help the situation, there are other alternatives such as boot camp, boarding schools and group homes. However, these alternatives are usually extremely costly, can cause even more resentment in the family and some have to be mandated by the court. If you feel unsafe with your teen or feel like he's going to hurt another family member, you should call the police immediately. You can request that your child be taken to a psychiatric emergency room where she will get the help that she needs. They may mandate therapy for your teen, so she will get continuous treatment.
