As newlyweds you may have trouble adjusting to marriage, may be having problems communicating or may need help with serious issues that could otherwise lead to divorce. When you're looking for a marriage therapist, you'll want to choose the best one for your circumstances. Your decision should depend on your budget for counseling, the style of counseling you relate to, the therapist's background and the personality of the therapist. The success of the counseling could depend on your compatibility with the therapist, so it's an important decision to make together as a couple.
Step 1
Ask yourself why you're going to counseling and what you would like to accomplish from going to marriage therapy. When you call a therapist to schedule a first appointment or to discuss whether her services are the best for you, she will probably ask these two questions to better help you decide if it's a good fit.
Step 2
Ask the counselor about her fees during your first phone call. You'll want to know if she or her agency accepts your insurance, how much she charges per session, how you will be billed and her policy on missed sessions.
Step 3
Find out the therapist's background and degrees by asking him. When searching for a marital counselor, you'll probably run across psychologists, psychoanalysts, social workers, marriage and family therapists and licensed professional counselors. You may also find psychiatrists; however, they are less likely to provide weekly counseling sessions. It's important to make sure that the counselor is licensed in your state to practice therapy if your state mandates a license. This means that she has a degree, passed licensing tests and has other qualifications.
Step 4
Ask how often you would meet with the therapist. Some therapists meet twice weekly; however, most meet once per week.
Step 5
Ask about the counselor's therapeutic style or modality. Once you know about the type of therapy she practices, you can find out more about it on The Family and Marriage Counseling Directory (see references). One style may fit your needs better than another. If you already know what style you would like, you can search therapists by their modality. For example, one therapist may specialize in cognitive-behavioral therapy and another may specialize in systems theory.
Step 6
Discuss the therapist with your spouse and determine who you both think you'll work the best with once you've collected the above information and then schedule a first session. After the first session, you should have a better understanding if that therapist seems to be a good fit. Beyond logistics, it just comes down to personality and style. When you go to the first session ask yourself if the therapist seems to be listening to both of you, understands your problems and helps you define your goals.
Tips and Warnings
- If you realize after the first couple sessions that the therapist isn't a good fit, let her know your concerns and discuss them before leaving therapy. She might be able to give you a recommendation for another therapist who would better fit your needs.
