5 Things You Need to Know About Coping With Jealousy

1. Work on Your Own Goals

We often get jealous when someone else does what we want to do, but there's a simple solution to quell that jealously. Admit that you are jealous and then take action to eliminate it. If you're jealous of a friend who had a book published, write one yourself. Focus on what you want, not on what the other person has. Write a list of goals and then work on achieving them. By concentrating on yourself, you'll take the edge off your jealous feelings. Build your self-esteem by engaging in activities you like and meeting new people. Think about what you can do to make your life better.

2. Change Your Values

What makes us jealous says a lot about our self-esteem, but it also indicates our values and beliefs. If you find yourself envious of people who are younger, richer and better looking, or consistently turn green with jealousy over neighbors who have bigger houses or flashier cars, it's time to fine-tune your underlying values. That's where all your feelings and thoughts start, so reassess what's really important in your life.

3. Let the Green-Eyed Monster Go

Although we can be envious of folks with better jobs and more material possessions, jealousy in relationships wraps its tentacles around many people. If your guy or girl flirts with someone else or says that they need their "space," obviously, you'll get frustrated, angry or jealous. Learn to deflect that negative energy and let it go. It may be hard to do if you really care for your partner, but sometimes playing it cool will be good for your head, heart and may even keep your partner from straying. Jealousy can be the most unattractive of emotions, so stomp it out the moment it appears and get on with life.

4. Don't Stew About It--Do Something

Jealousy often occurs due to lack of communication. If your Significant Other disappears a lot to talk on their cell phone, you might assume they're cheating on you and get jealous. Instead of simmering with rage and shooting them dirty looks, be direct. Sure, you might be afraid they'll get mad or think you're invading their privacy, but if you don't confront them, you'll waste a lot of time stewing in jealousy and anger when you could be doing something constructive. Those secret phone calls might be about a surprise party for you. Even if you get an answer you dread, it's better to get things out in the open and ease your mind.

5. Learn From the Experience

Use jealousy as a way to analyze the various issues in your life. By thinking about what stirs your jealousy, you can perform "self-therapy." If you're jealous of people who make lots of money, use that as a springboard to resolve your financial insecurities.