5 Things You Need to Know About Permissive Parenting

1. Hard to be a Parent

Parenting is a full time job that begins at birth and never really ends. The times when the parents are responsible for the actions of their children are the most important. Taking the easy way out and letting your children do as they wish may be less stressful, but it will come back to haunt you. Permissive parenting is sometimes the result of parents just wanting to avoid confrontation, lack of discipline skills in themselves and a strong desire to be loved by their children.

2. Go ask Your Mother

In a household with two parents, both the mother and father need to be on the same page with discipline. One permissive parent makes the other parent look like the bad guy. Children pick up on this conflict and will use it to manipulate the relationship to their advantage or so they think. Children who have been disciplined and taught order and responsibility will come back to thank you. As adults, they will come to recognize that your tough love made them better people.

3. You get What you pay for

The results of being too permissive begin to show up early in children as they look for the rest of the world to treat them the same way. They don't understand when they can't have everything they want. They don't get that they have to work for what they want. Grades in school will suffer and you may find yourself in the principal's office on a regular basis. Many children will have trouble making friends, because other children certainly won't cater to their demands.

4. The Fault Lines

When the limits are blurred, responsibility for the child's behavior is also pushed around. Permissive parents are blamed and can become defensive, making any changes in the home all the more difficult. Parents become angry because of the problems brought on by the undisciplined child and a cycle of blame is started. As children grow to teenagers, the trouble increases and becomes more difficult to diffuse. Teens who have no control can be both dangerous to society and to themselves.

5. Too Little, too Late

Striking a balance between permissiveness and strict control is not easy. Once you start seeing some of the fruits of being too easy on your kids, you may decide to get some outside help to change direction before your child ends up in trouble with the law. Family counseling which includes both the child and the parents can be very effective. It helps take the blame of both parties and provides a safe place to educate everyone, while working to change the tone of the relationship.