Parenting can be a challenging task, especially when a child is stubborn and does not listen. When a child consistently does not listen to a parent or other adults, it is usually the result of being able to get away with this behavior in the past. Luckily, there are a few tried and true discipline techniques that will put a parent back in control.
Rules
The foundation of discipline in a home needs to be based on rules. A parent needs to be very clear about what is expected, ideally by writing rules down. This way a child will clearly understand what is expected from her. Rules in a home may be broad and will vary by family. Some common expectations from children might be: respecting others, cleaning up after themselves, going to bed when they are supposed to, and listening to parents.
Time-Outs
The classic time-out can be one of the most effective discipline methods, if used properly. When a child breaks a rule, she should first be given one warning. Many parents make the mistake of constantly threatening time-outs but rarely giving them. If the child repeats the naughty behavior after being warned, she should be placed in a designated time-out area, such as a chair or stool. The length of a time-out should be one minute per year of age, and works best on children ages 2 to 5 years. If the child gets up, place him back in the time-out area and start the time over until the time is completed. When a child is used to not listening, the first time-out or two might involve putting the child back several times.
Withhold Privileges
Withholding privileges can be especially effective for children ages 6 and older who are not behaving properly. Kids younger than 6 may have a difficult time connecting the consequence and behavior. Make sure it is a realistic threat. For example, if you are planning to go to the park for your own enjoyment and it is a definite threat, withholding the park is not a smart threat. Good ideas might be video games, television or playing with friends. Never use necessities, such as dinner, as a threat.
Positive Reinforcement
In the same manner that a parent withholds privileges for bad behavior, rewards and positive reinforcement should be used when a child follows directions and is well-behaved. This can be a weekly practice, and reward charts can be a good visual reminder of progress. Give a sticker or happy face for each day that a child follows rules, and have the child pick out what reward he is working for. At the end of the week, if there is a sticker for each day, reward with fun things like small toys or a trip to the swimming pool.
Consistency
Consistency is key when trying to get control back in a household. Parents should always be watching and paying attention, and not afraid to enforce rules. If a parent is consistent, a child will know that she will be rewarded for good behavior, and breaking the rules is not allowed. Children who receive loving, consistent discipline are emotionally healthy and will also listen in school.
