The worst thing about a crying baby may be that you don't know what to do to help him. You love him and, if his scrunched-up face is any indication, he's in total despair. He can't talk and tell you what the problem is, so you have to identify the problem on your own. If that fails, try making yourself feel better instead. According to both the Child Welfare Information Gateway and MayoClinic.com, it's OK to let your baby cry for a few minutes while you get a grip.
Identify The Source
Sometimes babies cry for no logical reason, or at least not one that seems logical to Dad. But your baby might be trying to tell you something. Make a checklist of possible explanations so when the crying starts, you're not frantically trying to remember all the things that might be causing it. Maybe her diaper is dirty, or it's been longer than you realized since she ate. She might have a fever or a tummy ache, or she's over-dressed or under-dressed for the room temperature. Address each issue, and if she's still crying, rock her in your arms or give her your finger to suck on, provided it's freshly-washed and your nails are trimmed.
A Brief Escape
You're not going to do your baby or yourself any good if you come unglued, so if you simply can't figure out what's making him so unhappy, place him securely in his crib, leave the room and close the door behind you. Take a deep breath and try to remain calm, but don't stay away too long. Your baby might even stop crying in the interim. Or, when you reappear and he sees your smiling face again, it might be just what he needs to improve his mood. Of course, if both you and your partner are home at the time, you can get in the car and run an errand or two until your ears stop ringing. Just remember to return the favor when you get home.
Reach Out
Venting has its place and might even result in some constructive advice. While your baby is safely in her crib and doing her own venting, pick up the phone. Call your partner, a friend or your pediatrician. You most likely won't get the doctor on the line, but his staff will have a great deal of experience with freaked-out and frustrated new fathers. Of course, the best-case scenario would be if your friend stopped by for a short while to give you a break. If you have no one to call, stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how crazy this is making you. After a while, you might start feeling silly and it will lighten your mood.
Put It In Perspective
It can be very difficult to rationalize your baby's crying in the middle of the night when you're exhausted and you know you need to sleep before you go to work the next day. But according to MayoClinic.com, your baby's crying jags should start tapering off by the time he's 2 months old. Those two months can feel like a long time, but tell yourself there's an end in sight. You're not a bad parent because the crying gets to you. You might be a bad parent if it did not. Of course, if your baby's crying is excessive, you should consult with your pediatrician.
References
- BabyCenter; Ten Dad-Tested Ways To Soothe A Crying Baby; BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board; March 2008
- U.S. Army Medical Department Army Medicine; Tips For New Army Fathers; April 2010
- Child Welfare Information Gateway: Soothing a Crying Infant
- MayoClinic.com; Crying Baby: What To Do When Your Newborn Cries?; Mayo Clinic Staff; April 2011
- Newborn Baby Zone; Tips To Cope With A Crying Baby And Keeping Your Cool; August 2010
