Disciplining your child is a normal part of being a parent that starts in the toddler years and progresses all the way into the pre-teens and teenage years. However, the teenage years can present a unique challenge, as teenagers test both your boundaries and their independence, an action that can often present itself as disrespect toward you. When your children reach an age where a timeout in the corner is no longer an effective discipline option, there are a couple different ways you can approach disciplining your teen.
Step 1
Don't accept rudeness from your teenager. Stand firm on teaching your child to treat you with respect; letting the behavior continue without addressing it can make it more difficult to face the problem at a later time.
Step 2
Give your teen a warning after the first occurrence and then lay out the possible consequences if the behavior happens again. Make sure that your teen understands both the consequences of her actions as well as why the disrespectful behavior is inappropriate. If the child does not understand why she is being punished, it's hard for her to understand why her behavior needs to change.
Step 3
Relate the consequences to the action of disrespect when possible. For example, if your teen disrespects you by ignoring his curfew, reduce the curfew hour to an earlier time as a punishment. This may not always be possible, as actions like back-talking do not necessarily have a related consequence. In such a case, use your best judgment to select a punishment that will get the message across that you are not okay with the disrespect and expect it to stop.
Step 4
Make the punishment swift but strong. Stay away from long-term consequences that are more than a week long as they are difficult to follow through with or may be overly harsh. Instead, find firm consequences, such as being grounded from watching television for a week or from a specific event. These are easy to enforce and still provide a firm consequence. Also consider assigning specific chores around the house, such as cleaning, or outdoor chores, like mowing the lawn. These tasks should be things that your child does not normally have to do.
Step 5
Follow through. Don't say a consequence will happen and then not see it through. It's important that your teen understands that the discipline is not just an idle comment but will occur if she continues with the unwanted behavior.
Tips and Warnings
- Keep your own anger in check. Discipline with a calm mind and out of love for your child.
- If disrespect and bad behavior become commonplace in your home, even after taking discipline steps, schedule an appointment with a local mental health worker to determine if your child may have deeper issues, such as oppositional defiant disorder.
References
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology: Discipline
- ParentingIdeas.org: Parenting Your Teenager - 6 Tips for Effective Discipline and Consequences
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology: Your Adolescent - Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- Dr. Phil: Age-Appropriate Discipline Techniques
- "Good Housekeeping"; Stopping the Back Talk; Charlotte Latvala
