As siblings grow into teenagers, ongoing sibling rivalry is likely to continue, and in some cases, get worse. Conflict among siblings usually does not create a need for alarm. Sibling rivalry teaches teenagers how to get along with others and how to regulate emotional distress. If arguments and disagreements escalate into aggression, parental involvement might be necessary to prevent abuse.
Normal Sibling Rivalry
Most siblings argue like enemies and then get along like best friends. Teenage siblings often argue about a variety of issues, including school, friends, chores and property. Normal sibling rivalry includes teasing, yelling and sometimes name calling. They also might take each other's belongings and try to get each other into trouble. Stress can increase sibling rivalry. Competition is common and teens might react negatively to their sibling's achievements.
Abusive Sibling Rivalry
Sibling rivalry can cross the line into emotional and physical abuse, which can be traumatic. Constant bullying, physical violence, threats of violence and frequent teasing or name calling places children at risk of becoming traumatized. When sibling rivalry becomes abusive, the victim's friendships, school and family life become significantly impacted. Abuse from a sibling might have life-long negative effects. Teens who experience abuse from a sibling might feel helpless, especially if parents do not intervene appropriately.
Causes of Sibling Rivalry
Many factors contribute to sibling rivalry. Some teenagers argue in an attempt to gain parental attention. Yelling and tattling might receive more attention than playing well together. Competition also sets the stage for sibling rivalry and can lead to feelings of jealousy about things like who has the best computer, more friends or best grades. Teasing might get out of hand and lead to larger arguments as well. As teenagers grow and separate from the family, their attitude about their sibling might vary and might create ongoing conflicts.
Parental Intervention
Parental intervention serves as the biggest factor that determines whether sibling rivalry becomes problematic. Parents have many choices in how to respond when teenagers argue. For minor conflict, monitoring the situation without becoming directly involved allows children to develop problem-solving skills. If the situation escalates, ensure that both children feel safe. Assist with developing a plan to ensure that everybody feels emotionally and physically safe. Set rules about what behaviors are not acceptable and provide consequences if either child breaks the rules.
