When considering adoption for your family, it's easy to get caught up in learning about your potential match and the child you may bring into your home. While it certainly affects any prospective adoptive children, adoption also has a profound effect on any existing biological or adoptive children you may have. When adopting a child, to create a strong and loving family unit, take into consideration the necessary integration with siblings.
Possible Problems
When bringing a new child into your family, you're basically inviting a new sibling into your child's world. If your existing children don't understand or oppose the adoption, they could make life difficult for your adoptive child. An adopted child may feel like an outsider when interacting with any existing siblings, which could make it difficult to create loving familial relationships. As a parent and the common denominator among the children, it is your responsibility to ensure that your biological children feel secure and loved and that your adoptive child feels welcome and accepted.
Biological Vs. Adoptive Siblings
When you already have biological children in the picture, they must be warned beforehand to make the transition into the family as easy as possible for the adoptive sibling. If you have more than one biological child, the bond made by being siblings from birth could limit your children's ability to welcome and accept a new child into the family. Talking with your biological children about the importance of adopting a new child and how your adoptive child may feel can help create a warmer, more accepting atmosphere.
Easing the Transition
Your adoptive child may be nervous about meeting his new siblings for the first time. Ensure that he's comfortable with you so he can talk to you about questions and concerns. One way to keep the lines of communication open is to institute a family journal, where family members can write their thoughts and feelings about the adoption process and have them read as a family. Welcome your adoptive child into the family by spending time together as a family to help create positive feelings, experiences and memories to lay the foundation for acceptance and comfort. Ensure that all of your children have one-on-one time with you as a parent so they know they have an immovable place in the family.
Multicultural Difference
If you've chosen a cross-cultural adoption for your family, the difference in culture may seem strange to the new sibling. If you're not careful, the glaring differences could drive a wedge between siblings. Celebrate multicultural differences and invite all of your children to participate in rituals, traditions and celebrations according to their own backgrounds in order to help your adoptive child feel more welcome to the family while allowing existing children to understand and accept differences.
References
- AdoptiveFamilies; The Sibling Connection; Lois Melina
- Child Welfare Information Gateway; Sibling Issues in Foster Care and Adoption; 2006
- North American Council on Adoptable Children; Adoption & Sibling Relationships: What Children Have Taught Me; Jane Brown; Spring 2008
- "Parenting Your Adopted Child: A Positive Approach to Building a Strong Family"; Andrew Adesman, Christine A. Adamec; 2004
