Having disagreements is a normal part of being in a relationship. When conflicts are a regular household activity, however, they can have substantial and long-term effects on children who become unwilling witnesses. Even infants become stressed and anxious when living in an environment of parental conflict. It's vital for parents to understand how their relationship problems can impact their babies.
Misconceptions
You may think that infants are too young to understand conflict between parents. It's true that they don't comprehend the content of the conflict; however, infants are able to distinguish positive and angry exchanges between adults, according to authors Janette B. Benson and Marshall M. Haith in the 2009 book "Social and Emotional Development in Infancy and Early Childhood." In fact, continual exposure to parental conflict during early childhood can affect babies' psychological development later in life.
Effects
Stress is very much a repercussion of conflict in the home for these young children. Benson and Haith reveal that some evidence suggests infants can become engrossed in adults' angry behavior. This not only affects children's mental health but also their relationships with parents. Infants who witness parental violence may not form normal attachment with their mothers -- whether they are scared for, or of, them, according to Joy D. Osofsky's 1998 book "Children in a Violent Society." Infants also tend to take on the emotions of their parents, so stressed, angry adults can lead babies to display those same feelings. They may act out behaviorally because they do not know how to deal with such emotions.
Future Repercussions
The stress and emotions that infants endure when witnessing parental conflict can have lasting consequences on their development. They may even exhibit signs of post-traumatic stress disorder if they are exposed to violent acts between their parents. As infants head into the toddler phase, they may involve themselves in conflicts in an effort to stop the fighting. They may continue to have problems dealing with emotions as they get older. Forming healthy relationships with other kids can be a challenge, as well.
Dealing with Separation
Keeping infants away from arguing and conflict situations is important. If a parent leaves, however, this also can be quite stressful for babies. They do not have an understanding as to why a caregiver is rarely, if at all, in their lives. Older infants may develop separation anxiety as a result, causing screaming, crying and distress. For this reason, maintaining parent-child relationships -- even during divorce -- is vital if it is safe for the infant. It is easy for parents to become preoccupied with partner conflict or divorce, so it's essential that they make addressing infants' physical, emotional and social needs a priority.
