Despite their angelic faces, no child is an angel all of the time. On occasion, you may have to discipline or punish your child to stop negative behavior. Using appropriate punishment helps prevent repeat behavior in the future. However, excessive or inappropriate punishment, such as physically hitting a child, can lead to behavioral problems and is likely even illegal. Choosing appropriate punishments also depends on the age of the child.
Toddlers
Toddlers pose a challenge for parents because they're naturally inquisitive, but they don't yet understand the world in which they live. For example, they may not realize that hot things can burn them and they may not even understand much of the language that adults speak. They also frequently throw tantrums. KidsHealth.org suggests using "timeouts" with toddlers. Calmly but firmly say that something is unacceptable, such as hitting or biting. Then bring the child to a "naughty step" or a "naughty chair" -- basically any specific area that the child can associate with punishment. Leave the child there for several minutes before returning.
Young School Age
Preschool, kindergarten and young school-age kids start to understand logic and verbal reasoning. They may have an idea of their behavioral limits and what you're prepared to tolerate as a parent. Appropriate punishments for very bad behavior include showing your child the logical consequences of his actions, according to a 2004 report in "Pediatrics and Child Health." For example, if your child uses his paint brushes to paint your furniture, take the brushes away and get him to help clean the mess. This shows that his actions have consequence.
Older Children
Older children and teenagers often rebel against parental discipline and try to assert their independence. Fairness in the way you punish a teenager is crucial. Unfair or irrational punishments may backfire. The Division for Specialized Care for Children at the University of Illinois suggests letting your teen have a say before punishment. Also, set clear behavioral rules and boundaries when you're both feeling calm. Then, if the rules are broken, take decisive, firm, but fair action. For example, if the rule is no television in the bedroom after 10 p.m. and your child breaks the rule, then the punishment could be no TV for the following 24 hours.
Considerations
Children look to their parents for most of their behavioral cues. So, if you regularly argue with your partner, shout, or use threatening language or physical intimidation, your child is likely to mimic these negative traits. You may then find that doling out appropriate punishment and discipline is more difficult. Instead of only resorting to punishment every time your child does something wrong, use encouragement and rewards for good behavior to further develop positive attitudes.
