Bullying can have catastrophic consequences for all involved. Victims of school bullying, as well as the bullies themselves, are at an increased risk for depression and suicide, according to a study published in the January 2007 "Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry." If your child is being bullied at school, you must take action. Bullying rarely is resolved without parental and administrative action.
Documentation
The first time your child reports being bullied, write down her story. If any adults witnessed the bullying, talk to them and note what they saw and heard. Write down the basics of your conversation with each adult and date the documentation. Write down all conversations with teachers, administrators, bus drivers and other involved parties who are instrumental in solving the bullying problem. These documents can help you prove that a pattern of bullying is occurring, and it will let school officials know that you take the problem seriously. If the problem is not resolved, your lawyer will want to see this paperwork.
Who to Talk To
Don't wait for bullying to escalate before taking action. Oftentimes, the child doing the bullying has a history of aggressive behavior, so school officials need to be alerted immediately. Let your child's teacher know about the bullying, and ask him to relay the information to other team members who interact with your child, such as the PE teacher and librarian. Talk to the principal or assistant principal about the situation as well. This is the person who will likely know about the bully's history and be in a position to take immediate action. The website JaredStory.com, dedicated to a child who took his life due to bullying, advises writing letters to the principal, the superintendent and attending school board meetings to speak out against the issue. Keep in mind that if your child was physically or sexually assaulted, you can go directly to the police and file charges against the bully.
Helping Your Child Cope With Bullying
When your child tells you about bullying incidents, let him know that the abuse is not his fault. Make it clear that no one deserves physical, verbal or emotional abuse. Discuss ways for your child to feel safe at school -- perhaps he can change seats in a classroom where he sits next to a bully or change classes entirely, if the situation warrants it. Teach your child to ignore the bully's actions whenever possible to avoid providing the reaction that most bullies crave. Set up a meeting with your child and a trusted adult at the school so that he knows who to talk to when problems arise.
What Not to Do
As tempting as it may be, don't approach the bully or her parents yourself, as this can cause the situation to escalate and may even put you at risk for criminal charges. When you talk to school officials, keep your temper under control, even if you feel the officials are not being helpful. Keep emails to school personnel professional. Remember that emails and conversations can be documented and used later if the school does not follow district policy and state laws regarding bullying.
