Even the best-behaved kids can be reduced to biters when dealing with other children. When a child first goes to preschool, he's learning important social lessons and how to deal with other children. Biting usually occurs when a child feels aggressive or trapped, which can happen when another child takes a toy or threatens him in some way. By being firm and consistent with discipline, you can stop a preschooler from biting and teach verbal skills for a child to express himself in other ways.
Focus on the Victim
As soon as you notice an altercation in which one preschool child has bitten another, spring into action immediately. This is not a time when kids can solve their own problems because it involves one child hurting another. When you go to the children, focus all your attention on the victim at first. Care for any wounds and show love and affection toward that child while ignoring the biter at first. This shows the biter that biting does not give her attention. Once the victim feels better, you can sit down and talk to the biter.
Teach Verbal Solutions
When talking with the biter, it's important to ask how he felt before he bit the other child. Preschoolers are old enough to vocalize their feelings and explain what happened. It's likely the bite was merely a case of exploration and not of malice, but it may also be a sign of aggression and protection. Talk about ways the biter could have used his words instead, or give him permission to get you immediately if another child is taking his toys or hurting his feelings.
Give Timeout
Biting deserves some form of punishment, even after you've talked calmly to the child. A timeout is especially appropriate for a biter because it isolates the child and gives her time to cool down. A timeout teaches the biter that if she bites other children, she is no longer allowed to associate with them. Base the timeout on one minute for every year of her age and when the timeout is over, use it as an opportunity to reiterate the idea of using verbal cues to let you know if there's a problem.
Immediate Redirection
With a sharp eye, you can stop a preschooler from biting before it happens. If you know that a particular child has a tendency to bite, watch him carefully. Know the signs of aggression that precede a bite, such as clenched fists, a struggle with another child over an item or any type of rough play. Should you notice any warning signs, quickly step in and direct the biter's attention elsewhere. This gives the child time to calm down and allows you the chance to offer a quick reminder on the rules and appropriate behavior at preschool. If necessary, substitute the biting for something else that a child can use to curb his aggression, such as a squishy stress ball.
