Discipline Methods For A Ten-year-old

Your 10-year-old is starting to test his independence as he learns more about his likes, dislikes and personality. As a parent, it can be confusing to see your previously agreeable child become a more difficult "tween." While your 10-year-old needs boundaries, it's important to foster proper self-esteem and autonomy with those boundaries. Soon, your 10-year-old will become a full-fledged, impressionable teenager and will look to his upbringing to guide his way through high school and beyond.

Firm Boundaries

Your 10-year-old is old enough to know what's expected of her and how to follow rules and instructions. Having a frank discussion with your tween about the various rules of the household can help outline your expectations. Allow your 10-year-old to help think of some of the various punishments that should be used should she break the rules. Having her participate means she knows exactly what will happen and helps you avoid communication misunderstanding. It also shows respect for her opinion, which she'll likely appreciate as she tests her independence.

Natural Consequences

One of the most effective ways to teach your 10-year-old about proper behavior is to allow the natural consequences to affect his life. As a parent, it's only natural to try to protect your child from unpleasant experiences. But if your tween doesn't do his homework, learning that he'll be punished at school can help him better understand the consequences of his action. Natural consequences make for a vital life lesson that will help your 10-year-old make better choices based on his predicted outcomes.

Calm Reactions

Your 10-year-old is learning more about herself and her place in the family every day. She may begin to test her boundaries to see how much she can get away with. When you have an outburst of anger because of her behavior, it only solidifies her opinion that you don't understand or value her as a child. When your tween misbehaves, use it as a catalyst for discussion and communication. If you need to take a few minutes to cool off, do so before spending time talking to your 10-year-old about her behavior and what has caused her to misbehave.

Addressing Behavior Only

On the cusp of teenagehood, your 10-year-old is forming opinions about himself that will eventually serve to shape his overall self-esteem. While bad behavior is frustrating, criticizing your tween's overall character can do fundamental damage to his self-worth. When disciplining your child, focus on the behavior, not the overall character. Avoid making sweeping statements, such as "You're always disrespectful," or "You're so lazy." Instead, talking about the isolated behavior allows you to discipline for unacceptable actions without focusing directly on your 10-year-old's personality and character.