The teenage years can be an extraordinarily stressful time, but parents often don't recognize the pressure their adolescents are feeling. According to a 2010 study by the American Psychological Association, dangerous levels of stress often are undiagnosed by parents and schools. A big part of the problem is that signs of stress often mirror "normal" teen behavior -- acting out, rebelliousness, refusal to communicate. But stress is serious. It easily can lead to anxiety, depression and even the possibility of suicide. So watch for warning signs of stress and anxiety in your child, and take appropriate action --- including a consultation with a doctor or psychologist with experience in treating teen stress.
Step 1
Observe your teenager closely for signs of stress or anxiety. Stress occurs when your teen's flight-or-fight response is triggered by an event perceived as frightening or threatening. Anxiety sets in when your teen's flight-or-fight response remains switched on for too long, causing signs of arousal and distress to linger and become entrenched.
Step 2
Evaluate the signs and symptoms. Do they seem to be temporary, part of the normal growing-up process, or more severe and long-lasting? Signs of stress can be physical, emotional or psychological. They include dry mouth; faster breathing; dilated pupils; tense muscles; digestive disorders; increased sweating; poor concentration; avoidance of normal activities; fear of illness or death; sleep difficulty; and isolation. Anxiety symptoms are similar, but often more severe and longer-lasting. Signs include pounding heart; headaches; fear of failure; panic and confusion; terror; running away; aggression; and drinking, smoking or drug use. As the United Kingdom's National Health Service Lothian website explains, these effects can develop into panic attacks, a severe form of anxiety that is hard to endure and requires medical intervention.
Step 3
Talk with your teen. Find out what he is going through at school and in the rest of his life. Ask what he is worried about -- teens can be stressed from issues ranging from divorce to family money difficulties to achieving the grades to get into a good college to peer pressure to a lack of sleep. Tell them they are not alone in their worries, recommends Dr. Frank Iannetta, a New Jersey physician with experience in treating teens: "A lot of kids feel like they're the only one who feels this way. But everyone, sooner or later, feels stress."
Step 4
Reduce stress for your teen if you can. Encourage him to enjoy a favorite activity, exercise and eat well, including cutting out caffeine, and learn breathing exercises, meditation or other ways to cut stress. If you are a source of pressure, try to reduce your own stress level to become less demanding.
Step 5
Get help before stress turns into anxiety, depression or suicidal tendencies. Help can be in the form of a family physician, school counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. Family and individual counseling are options. Medication usually is reserved for cases where stress has worsened into anxiety, depression or thoughts of suicide. However, medication for anxiety and depression includes a risk of serious side effects, another reason to recognize and treat stress as early as possible.
Tips and Warnings
- If your relationship with your teen is rocky, let her know you are concerned and encourage her to talk with someone she trusts if she doesn't want to confide in you. Offer her written material about stress and anxiety, including places where help is available.
- Don't be judgmental. Stress and anxiety frighten and confuse teens. Telling them to get over it or snap out of it puts them under even more pressure.
