Sometimes children develop unhealthy coping skills and they resort to measures like giving you the silent treatment to gain control, manipulate or emotionally blackmail you. The silent treatment is a common behavior in children -- especially with teenagers. How a parent responds to the silent treatment is important in shaping how often you will see this and other manipulative behaviors in the future.
Remember Your Role
Remember who is the parent and who is the child. The silent treatment is a power-play and as the parent, you have all the power. By not taking the gesture personally and instead viewing it as a learning opportunity for your child, you will be calmer and better able to respond appropriately. Remind yourself that you are being given the silent treatment because your child has not yet developed more appropriate ways of responding and that you, as a parent, can help him learn better coping skills.
Respond Quickly
Respond immediately by setting clear limits. Respond by saying that you understand that even though you understand your child is upset, the silent treatment is not an effective way to handle her emotions. If the behavior becomes habitual, it may be necessary to institute a consequence, such as taking away privileges. Do not give in when your child is manipulating you. Instead, go on with your regular daily activities and if you need emotional support contact another adult.
Give it TIme
Give your child some space to sort out his feelings. You will likely not be successful if you talk with him, cajole, threaten or give into his demands. Instead, a brief separation from you may give him time to think through the situation.
The silent treatment can last a long time in teenagers. According to the website Parent Further, some parents find success in continuing to talk with their teenagers even though they are not getting a response. Talking with your teenager does not mean giving into his demands; rather, you are continuing to express love and concern for him and keep him included as a part of the family.
Reward Positive Behaviors
If her silent tactics are unsuccessful in manipulating you, your child will eventually start speaking again. If she's being appropriate, express your sympathy and praise the positive behavior. You can say, "I know that you were upset, but I am very proud of your decision to talk this out."
Maintain Your Regimen
Proceed with family life and family activities throughout your child's silent treatment. That way, he does not hold the family hostage with his manipulative behaviors. If you have regular, fun family outings planned, your child will likely be motivated to begin speaking to fully enjoy the activity.
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