Researchers at universities around the world, including the University of Minnesota and Purdue University, report that punishing misbehavior in children in a traditional manner, such as spanking or loud lecturing, is not the most effective strategy. That's because a child's misbehavior is generally a result of acting out to attain a reward or to avoid an outcome. For instance, if a child misbehaves in a certain way, the end result is usually some form of attention -- even if it is yelling or spanking. The child gets rewarded with the action he or she wanted, be it consciously or subconsciously. Instead, parents can employ different strategies that do not involve unintended negative attention, but rather a more positive form of discipline. Some common techniques that parents and caregivers can use to curb misbehavior include time outs, diverting attention, ignoring misbehavior and firmly stating consequences.
Time Outs
You can use time out effectively as a means to calm down the child and let him sort out his emotions. It is best to sit down with the child when everyone is in a good mood and explain that you are going to begin using time out to give everyone involved a chance to cool down, regain composure and begin again. Don't yell at the child, tell him he is bad or naughty or forcibly put him in the predetermined time-out location; these actions might reinforce negative attention-seeking behavior. Staying calm and in control will give your child a positive model to emulate -- which is the desired outcome.
Divert Attention
Diverting attention toward positive behaviors also can curb misbehavior without resorting to punishment. Rather than bring attention to misbehavior, distract the child by focusing on something else. For instance, call attention to a positive behavior another child is exhibiting. This can be tricky; you don't want the positive attention for the other child to seem like taunting or teasing to your misbehaving child. For example, calling attention to how well one child is sharing his toys and how his action will promote sharing and a happy attitude among the other children gets the message across without offense.
Ignore It
Ignoring misbehavior is another strategy, though it needs to be done with care. Use another method in cases of fighting or other violence toward the child or his peers. An appropriate use of ignoring misbehavior is when a child says an unacceptable language. If a parent reacts when a child swears, then the child gains the attention he seeks, reinforcing the misbehavior. Simply ignore it, and the child will lose interest in provoking a reaction.
Spell Out Consequences
Simply stating consequences firmly is a relatively basic concept. It involves actively engaging the child in direct statements of behaviors the parent desires. Instead of asking if a child wants to do something, simply state what they are supposed to do. You must be firm on the consequences of not taking the desired action. If a child recognizes that his actions will bring no consequences, he is more apt to continue the bad behavior in the future.
