1. Children Need Rules
Every child needs his parents to set rules. Children thrive on structure and rules help us to provide that structure. Sometimes, children do foolish things when they are stressed out, tired or with their friends. During these times, the rules that parents set become the basis for a child's behavior. In addition to helping our children get through these times, setting rules helps our children learn to become responsible, law abiding citizens as they become adults.
2. Presenting the Rules to Your Child
When setting rules for your child, it is important to tailor the rules to your child. Every child is an individual and needs the rules to relate to her life. Some rules and limits will be the same regardless of the child. In this case, present the rules in a way that the child will understand. For example, sticking your finger in an electrical outlet is against the rules. For a baby, a simple tap on the hand when she tries to stick her finger in the outlet will usually let her know the rule. For an older child, you may have to tell her "No" and then explain the reason why sticking her finger in the outlet is against the rules.
3. Every Action has a Reaction
The best way to enforce the rules that you have set is to use consistent consequences. When you tell your child a new rule that he must follow, you have to let him know what will happen if he breaks the rule. The severity of the consequence must fit the seriousness of the rule. Taking away privileges and time outs are some possible consequences of breaking the rules. Progression in severity of consequences is usually a good idea. That is, make the consequence a little more severe each time your child breaks that particular rule.
4. A Little Praise Goes a Long Way
With younger children, positive reinforcement is sometimes a better option when you need them to follow rules. For example, when potty training, putting the child in time out when he has an accident is counter productive. Instead, a good idea is to praise the child every time he uses the potty. Another option is to reward him at set intervals when he goes to the potty instead of having an accident. For instance, if he uses the potty all morning, he gets a sticker at lunch.
5. Rules are Meant to Be Changed
As a child grows and becomes more mature, re-evaluating the rules and consequences is necessary. Rules pertaining to curfew or bedtime are examples of rules you should re-evaluate in most cases. Re-evaluating rules such as curfew or bedtime should happen at set intervals, such as every six months or the beginning of summer. This gives children an incentive to follow the rules because they know when to expect positive results for their positive behavior.
