John Locke proposed that babies are a blank slate at birth in "An Essay Concerning Human Understanding," which was published in the late 1600s. It's now known that children come into the world with their own unique temperament; however, they still need parents to teach them right from wrong. Rewards, rules and consequences help shape children's understanding of which behaviors are acceptable.
Purpose of Punishment
The purpose of punishment is to stop undesirable behavior. Punishment can be carried out in multiple ways with all causing some form of discomfort for children. Spanking and other forms of physical punishment remain popular in the United States; in fact, 85 percent of teens have been physically punished at some point, Dr. Elizabeth T. Gershoff revealed in a 2008 Phoenix Children's Hospital report. The goal is that kids will associate the physical discomfort with the misbehavior, thereby preventing them from doing it again. Some parents use verbal punishment to make children feel shame or guilt for their actions.
Concerns
Many leading organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, do not condone physical punishment. While it may temporarily halt misbehavior, it does not teach children why their actions were wrong; instead, kids learn to be fearful of their parents and that hitting is an appropriate way to respond to problems, according to Oklahoma State University's Dr. Elaine Wilson. Even non-physical methods can be problematic if used inappropriately. For instance, threatening or putting down children because of their actions contributes to low self-esteem. Timeouts should only be used in children over the age of 3; they shouldn't be put into an area that frightens them, such as a dark room.
Purpose of Rewards
Rewards are also an important part of discipline. Children should not only receive attention for doing something wrong; they need to also be recognized for positive or appropriate behaviors. Kids tend to want to please their parents, so they are more likely to repeat good behaviors when they receive that approval. Smiling, laughter, hugs and compliments are examples of positive reinforcement. Small, healthy rewards, such as stickers, can also be used to reinforce good behavior, according to the 2010 book, "The Parents' Guide to Psychological First Aid: Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Predictable Life Crises."
Effective Discipline
Many people use the terms discipline and punishment interchangeably, although this is inaccurate. Kids are punished in direct response to a misbehavior; the focus is more on causing discomfort than teaching. Discipline, on the other hand, helps kids learn what behavior is acceptable and why. Children learn by example, so parents need to be mindful of the example they set. Well-disciplined children receive both positive reinforcement for good behavior and consequences for misbehaving. Parents need to let kids learn by making their own choices and accepting the repercussions, as long as they are not in any danger. It's vital, however, that parents inform children of rules and consequences before they misbehave.
References
- Phoenix Children's Hospital; Report on Physical Punishment in the United States: What Research Tells Us About Its Effects on Children; Elizabeth T. Gershoff, PhD; 2008
- New Mexico State University "Family Times": Discipline: Help Your Children Develop Feelings of Self-Esteem
- Oklahoma State University; Guilding Young Children Series: Discipline without Punishment; Elaine Wilson, PhD
- "The Parents' Guide to Psychological First Aid: Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Predictable Life Crises"; Gerald P. Koocher, Annette La Greca; 2010
- Virginia Cooperative Extension; Discipline for Young Children - Discipline and Punishment: What is the Difference?; Valya Telep; May 2009
- Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy; John Locke; William Uzgalis, PhD; 2007
