It's not unusual for children to test their boundaries as they begin to learn. During this process improper behavior can start to surface. Appropriate discipline is essential to stop these behaviors, as well as help your child develop a healthy understanding of what is expected both at home and in other situations like school. When it comes to healthy discipline, choose from a variety of techniques.
Time Outs
A time out is a common discipline technique that creates a consequence for your child without resorting to physical methods like spanking. A time out consists of removing your child from the situation where the undesired behavior is occurring, and placing him somewhere boring where he doesn't want to be, such as a specific step in your home or a "naughty chair" placed in a corner with no toys or things to entertain him. Television personality Dr. Phil suggests limiting time out times to less than five minutes, with one minute per year of life under the age of 5. Set a timer so your child knows how long he has; do not pay attention to him while he is in a time out.
Grounding and Withholding Privileges
Once children grow out of a time out stage, grounding can be used to exact a consequence that is strong enough to discourage future misbehavior. Grounding can consist of two different parts, withholding privileges and adding additional unwanted activities. For example, you may withhold being able to hang out with friends or being able to watch television. Additional unwanted activities may be extra chores around the house, such as washing dishes or vacuuming. When possible, grounding should relate to the misbehavior. For example, if a child throws a video game controller, ground him from video games. If the child throws food during dinner, instruct him to wash the dishes. The Center for Effective Parenting suggests staying away from long-term grounding, such as weeks at a time, as it loses effectiveness over time.
Ignoring Technique
In some cases, your child might misbehave for the sole reason of gaining your attention. In these cases, reacting to the child may only be feeding the behavior to continue. In these cases, simply ignoring the behavior may be enough to make it stop, once the child sees she is no longer getting a reaction. However, when behaviors are serious, such as behaviors that hurt herself or others, or has the potential to cause harm, do not ignore them.
Positive Reinforcement
Another discipline technique revolves more around when your child is doing something right. Positive reinforcement consists of rewarding your child through verbal praise or loving touch during times he is not misbehaving. Recognizing and rewarding good behavior can help discipline be more effective, as the child can clearly see the difference between the consequences when he is misbehaving. The positive rewards he sees when behaving. Positive reinforcement and bribing are two very different things, as you do not need to buy things for your child for the technique to be successful.
References
- Oklahoma State University: Discipline Methods for Parents and Grandparents
- Dr. Phil: Age-Appropriate Discipline Techniques
- Old Dominion University; 101 Positive Discipline Techniques; Elizabeth O. Cooper
- Ask Dr. Sears: 10 Techniques to Shape Children's Behavior
- Center for Effective Parenting: Modified Grounding
