How To Deal With The Complaining Child

"I'm bored!" "You never do what I want to do." "Why do I have to do this?" Nearly every parent has experienced an uncooperative, complaining and unpleasant child at some point. The drawn-out words, the sweeping generalities and the bad attitude are all earmarks of a child who does not yet understand how to communicate properly. Teaching your child the proper way to speak and respond saves your sanity as a parent and offers a solid foundation for communication in the future.

Step 1

Ignore your child's requests and comments when said in a whiny or complaining fashion. Pretend you don't hear her and move along with your activities. Children use complaining as a way to manipulate adults into doing the things they want, and ignoring them sends a message that complaining is an unacceptable form of communication.

Step 2

Wait for your child to finish complaining, then say brightly, "I'm sorry, but I didn't hear what you were saying because you were whining. If you'd like to speak properly I'd love to listen to you." This not only sets a clear standard as to what's expected of your child during communication, but also offers a solution for communication: speaking properly. Your child sometimes complains without realizing, so your direction is a gentle first warning.

Step 3

Offer your child choices when he complains about activities, food or other variables in his life. Instead of serving broccoli for dinner, ask if he'd prefer broccoli or cauliflower, or if he'd rather go to the grocery store and the park or the bank and the pool. Giving choices helps your child feel more in control and learn to take responsibility for his own choices.

Step 4

Redirect the blame your child places when she complains. When she whines, "You always make me clean my room," point out that she wouldn't need to clean her room if she'd just kept it tidy during the week. Complaining is a way that your child assesses blame to other individuals; it's important that you teach her to take responsibility for her own actions and how they affect her life.

Step 5

Play a game in which you're the child and your child is the adult. If your child has been complaining of boredom, role play to show your child how he sounds when he complains and to brainstorm ideas for a solution. When your child assumes the position of the adult, it's funny for him to suggest activities for you, the pretend child. Then, take one of the suggestions and play together.