Certain habits --- such as hair twirling, thumb sucking, nose picking and nail biting --- are done without your child's conscious effort. This makes his behavior a subconscious effort, meaning your child doesn't consciously engage in the behavior and sometimes doesn't even notice. While some subconscious habits are harmless and part of a phase, longer-lasting habits can be more difficult to break. Your child must become a partner in breaking the habit.
Step 1
Explain to your child why the habit is undesirable. For instance, picking her nose or biting her nails could lead to the ingestion of bacteria, while pulling hair could lead to hair loss. If the habit isn't inherently dangerous, use an etiquette approach, pointing out that it's rude or it doesn't look nice. Helping your child understand why the habit is unacceptable helps her become a partner in stopping the habit.
Step 2
Identify the triggers that cause your child to engage in the subconscious behavior. Habits are often used as a way to cope with certain emotions, from boredom to stress or anger. By identifying your child's triggers, you're better able to watch for the behavior and stop it before it starts, using gentle reminders or distraction.
Step 3
Offer healthier alternatives to your child's habit to help him cope with the subconscious urge to engage in the undesirable behavior. Pair the distraction with a trigger. For instance, if your child picks his nose when he's bored, purchase a stress ball that keeps his hands busy while doing low-key activities. If he tends to bite his nails when he's nervous, teach him to wiggle or tap his fingers instead.
Step 4
Plan rewards for good behavior as motivation for your child to stop the habit altogether. Ensure that the rewards deal directly with the habit, so your child can directly see the benefits of breaking the behavior. Offer a manicure for a cessation of her nail biting, or a new haircut when the hair sucking or twirling stops for a week.
Step 5
Follow through with your rewards or lack thereof. Giving your child the reward you discussed without seeing a change in behavior hardly motivates your child to stop. He will soon learn that he doesn't need to stop the habit. While you shouldn't punish for subconscious behaviors, simply withholding rewards help demonstrate your seriousness in helping your child break the habit.
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