As you monitor your preschooler's quiet activity in the rearview mirror, you make a startling discovery. Much to your horror, you observe your child happily engaged in play with a colorful figurine that you did not purchase. There is no need to panic or visualize your little one in a police lineup. Preschool logic endorses the practice of "pocketing" a few samples from the enticing world she discovers at her sticky fingertips.
Why Preschool Children Steal
When you acquire an understanding of why your preschooler steals, you will be ready to help your child understand why stealing is inappropriate. A preschool child's desire for items and the temptation to own the items is far greater than her level of self-control and comprehension of why taking things without paying for them is wrong. Dr. William Sears indicates that preschoolers who demonstrate the most problems with impulse control are most likely to steal. The onset of moral development evolves slowly during the preschool years and the cherubic preschooler does not realize why taking the money from the table is stealing. Your child steals without a moral evaluation of the appropriateness of the deed.
Possession and Ownership 101
Keep things simple for your preschool child. Save the explanations about how shoplifting makes the price of merchandise more expensive for others and how a pattern of stealing can lead to a prison sentence for much, much later in her development. Instead, focus on helping your little one to distinguish between possession and ownership with the aid of hands-on examples. When she accompanies you to the grocery store, point out the items in your cart and explain that even though your child's favorite cereal is in your cart, the cereal still belongs to the store until you pay for it. Permit her to select a favorite item from the cart, provide money for the item and let her purchase it. Explain that now the item belongs to her rather than the store because money purchased the item.
Returning Stolen Items and Apologizing
Your reaction to stealing helps your preschool child to understand that stealing is wrong. Help her to return the stolen item, apologize for the theft and pay for the item. Marching your child back to the grocery store to make amends for an empty candy wrapper helps her to understand that honesty counts in even the smallest of matters. Talk about the importance of correcting or "making right" mistakes made with your child.
Preschool Children at Risk
Fortunately for parents, most preschooler children develop into school-age children who understand the basic principles associated with ownership, morality and stealing. For children who appear to excel in petty thievery instead of moral development, look for several risk factors. If your child has low self-esteem, poor self-control or anger management issues, she is more likely to steal. A recent change in family dynamics such as a divorce may precede problems with stealing. Stealing may stop after risk factors receive your attention.
